this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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I'm writing this as someone who has mostly lived in the US and Canada. Personally, I find the whole "lying to children about Christmas" thing just a bit weird (no judgment on those who enjoy this aspect of the holiday). But because it's completely normalized in our culture, this is something many people have to deal with.

Two questions:

What age does this normally happen? I suppose you want the "magic of Christmas" at younger ages, but it gets embarrassing at a certain point.

And how does it normally happen? Let them find out from others through people at school? Tell them explicitly during a "talk"? Let them figure it out on their own?

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[โ€“] arthur@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

https://youtu.be/BsR6sIsoWgU

Not sure if it will help, I was looking for another video about Santa specifically. But could not find it. In that video he says that he did not dismiss Santa's tales but also did not engage with it. And at a certain point question the tales and asked the kids how they know that's Santa who is giving them presents. Then the kids looked for ways to find out, and discovered themselves. (If I remember correctly)

[โ€“] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

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[โ€“] daddyjones@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We made a point of never lying to our kids about Christmas/Santa and it didn't seem to diminish their enjoyment of Christmas at all.

[โ€“] GbyBE@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago

I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down for this exact answer. We did the same thing and they enjoyed it nonetheless.

I never grew up with Santa and don't plan on any kids of mine doing so if I become a mom.

[โ€“] moody@lemmings.world 3 points 1 year ago

My brother was straight up with his kids from the start. He didn't want some imaginary fat man taking credit for the thoughtful gifts he gives them.

[โ€“] MNByChoice@midwest.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Kids talk at school. Ages 5 to 9.

Saw this on Reddit years ago, and it goes like: You had a great time thinking of Santa. Now you know the truth, and you are now Santa. Same as your parents. Don't ruin it for your siblings, let them keep the magical feeling.

[โ€“] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

This. I was eight when I found out. My mother was in denial and kept using santa as a manipulation tool for good behavior until I was maybe 13, but she was an alcoholic with the tentative grasp of reality. I got super bitter about Christmas until I was homeless as a teen.

Christmas was the first major attempt to wrestle back what I felt I was owed as a child. I refused to be bitter, because I saw that as giving in to the people who wanted me to fail. I enjoy Christmas as punk as fuck.

Still hard, though. I can't find anyone as into it as I want to be and don't have the energy to really go all in as I want to.

[โ€“] Emperor@feddit.uk 3 points 1 year ago

I was 2 and a half and spotted that Santa was wearing my Dad's shoes. As I thought he'd killed my father and robbed his shoes I was upset and my parents had to explain that Santa wasn't some kind of murder hobo but that the Wellington boots that came.with the Santa outfit were too.small, so my Dad had to use his own. Never did me any harm.

[โ€“] dewritoninja@pawb.social 2 points 1 year ago

I don't remember being told that santa existed, growing in a deeply religious family christmas was always about Jesus. Now I'm an atheist so I guess 16-18 when I found out it's actually a pagan festival that the romans ductaped Christianity to it

[โ€“] CylustheVirus@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

We always said Santa was a fun make believe activity, but then our house has a lot of fantasy media so what's one more myth?

[โ€“] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Never lie to them in the first place. Also no circumcision. Just don't do predictably horrible shit to little-yous who have to live with the fallout

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[โ€“] TedZanzibar@feddit.uk 1 points 1 year ago

My kids are of the age where they're starting to think critically about it. We've never directly lied and said that he's real and have instead answered their questions with a "do you think he's real?", and then they have a think and conclude that he is.

When they come to us with more of a statement than a question, for example "Santa isn't real, is he?", then we will let them in on the ruse.

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