The Brits thought they were clever by comparing Liz Truss to a head of lettuce, we now have Republican Leaders who don't last as long as a loaf of bread.
this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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He lasted about a hundredth as long as Scaramucci (for our European audience, that's equivalent to one centiscaramucci).
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Emmer didn't last as long as sliced avocado
Forget a loaf of bread, he didn't even outlast a tray of cashew chicken put out by a shady Chinese buffet one health code violation away from permanent closure!
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The flavor in hubba Bubba lasts longer
With apologies to Andy Warhol, “In the future, everyone will be the Republican nominee for House Speaker for 15 minutes.”
Don't apologize, Andy would laugh.
[Emmer withdrew his name from the running after a contingent of Republicans made clear they would not back him on the House floor]
They are already ignoring the pledge they signed to back the nominee. This makes it considerably more likely that Dems will be needed.
And there's no way they'll help.
When the GOP decides to walk away from the freedom caucus, insurrectionists, and 100x felon Trump, they can ask for help. Until then, the GOP is on its own.
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From the linked article from The Hill:
“I like Tom Emmer a lot as a person, but I couldn’t support him as Speaker of the House. He didn’t object to Joe Biden’s electoral college vote,” said Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.)
Screaming internally
Screaming Externally
Anyone who voted for that fucktard is a moron.
Anyone who votes for any republican at this point is a moron
Which very much summarizes the situation: One part of the party does not want a criminal as a speaker, and another part does not want anyone but a criminal in that position.
It used to be that Republicans couldn't cooperate with Democrats. Now Republicans can't even cooperate with other Republicans. I think the next stage will involve the various body parts of each individual Republican turning against each other. Is your liver not Making America Great? Better cast it out, just to be sure...
The republican party is splitting in two in front of us. We are watching the sausages being made.
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That's too self-critical. More like: is your liver not Making America Great? Blame an immigrant! Or trans person, or abortion doctor, or librarian....
Did you put your name in the Goblet of House Speaker?
…Dumbledore asked calmly.
A couple dozen cry babies can't have the worst candidate imaginable, so the country gets to be paralyzed. And the nominee who was the best chance we had for getting past the stalemate had to be torpedoed almost immediately because he dared to support certifying the election, and wasn't "sufficiently loyal" to Trump. Oh, and he doesn't hate the gays. So despite literally being the guy responsible for trying to drive votes for the party's agenda and having helped get numerous other Republicans elected, his past history of not always licking their boots means he might as well be a damn dirty Democrat!
Honestly, if I was one of the moderate / establishment / non-insurrectionist / swing district Republicans in the house, I'd get together with a few of the others who have been holding out against the crazies and see if I can get 5 votes for Hakeem Jeffries in the next secret ballot. A nice shot across the bow and a reminder that they don't have to surrender to the demands of 20 extremists when there are 200 people on the other side of the aisle that might be willing to compromise.
Not that it would change many minds of course. The nutcase caucus will continue to try seize control and demand absolute obedience because they have nothing to lose. This just makes them more popular with their supporters, and shutting down the government is a net gain from their point of view.
It's possible that a small number of Republicans might negotiate with Democrats, but as we've seen, Trump and pals will try to target anyone who dares defy them. Can't have our leaders putting the good of the country ahead of loyalty to the only faction of the party that they care about. And while some might be willing to commit career suicide, they've already purged a quite a few members for having principles, there's only so many left.
Of course, that same sense of self preservation is one of the things preventing the more moderate Republicans from caving. They know damn well that they need to keep a healthy distance from the more toxic members of the party. So they'll probably be inclined to continue walking a tightrope for as long as they can.
As such, it's the great spineless middle of the party that I suspect will have to finally decide to actually do something useful. They all know that they'll be the ones taking the blame if a government shut down does happen, and the longer it goes on the worse it will be for them. Sooner or later, that starts looking like a bigger problem than whatever retaliation they might get from their own party for the crime of bipartisanship, especially if there are plenty of others joining them and giving each individual representative cover for doing the right thing. And if they cross the MAGA "No" line and install a speaker that by necessity works with both parties to actually get things done, the intransigent members of the party might suddenly find that they are irrelevant and inconsequential.
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So... ha ha, on the surface this is "lol Republicans are a clown show" but wtf actually happened? Did someone threaten his family? Is there video of him doing morse code with blinks? We can all laugh now but I don't think this is a win for anyone.
Trump torpedoed him earlier in the day with a post on his own social network saying that Emmer never really supported him or the MAGA view of things, accused him of being a "globalist" and a Republican in Name Only and mentioned he had voted to certify the 2020 presidential election result. In short, Trump made sure everyone knew the guy was only Lawful Evil and not batshit crazy, therefore unqualified to lead the GOP.
Trump said no and his lemmings jumped off the cliff.
Lemmings don’t actually do that; Disney threw lemmings off a cliff because it made for a more compelling documentary:
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/white-wilderness-lemming-suicide/
This makes the analogy even more apt.
"Trump said no and drove the lemmings off the cliff"
If this shitshow didn't have drastic consequences, and if Republican voters were capable of thought, this would be hilarious news. As it is, it's becoming increasingly likely that the Republicans will not be able to find anyone to act as their Speaker, and will not work with the Democrats just to get someone in the seat to pass legislature. That makes the threat of the looming shutdown very real and terrifying, and Republican voters will just keep voting for this kind of obstructive nonsense.
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Bunch of god damn clowns
Meanwhile in Europe, a well-renowned newspaper (the "Neue Züricher Zeitung") calls the Republicans "Partei der Putschisten" ("Coupist Party") in their headline. Yep, people are not blind out there...
At this rate, to end this shitshow once and for all, I would like to propose a solution that will satisfy everyone and volunteer myself as the Speaker of the House.
- Red blooded all-American woman from the mean streets of Queensland, New York. (Shh...)
- An actor, like the hero of the Republican Party, Ronald Reagan.
- Nominated for an Academy Award for playing a Fox News employee, so probably pretty good at pretending to be a Republican too.
- Expert in Houses (especially of the dream variety)
- Top moderator of a 20K+ member internet community on an obscure technology forum, which is more governing experience than most US Congressmen.
- Usually have good takes on everything.
- Better looking than Marjorie Taylor Green.
I am literally the perfect candidate for the position, vote for Margot!
(But if I can be serious for a moment, this House Speaker thing is getting completely ridiculous.)
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Everyone check your email; at this rate we'll all get a shot at being House Speaker at some point.
I have an old pork loin in my fridge that I should have thrown out already. How about that for Speaker?
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Still lasted longer than a ripe avocado.
We will now be comparing dysfunctional Circuses and ill-run Clown Shows to the GOP.
I would like to be the first to say: Who?
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