this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 85 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fun story:

When Pope Paul III heard that Michelangelo had finished the top part of the wall and was removing scaffolding, he came immediately to see the progress. His reaction was to fall to his knees and pray. The Pope's Master of Ceremonies, Biagio da Cesena, had also come to view The Last Judgement, and his reaction was to call it disgraceful! Da Cesena thought the multitude of nudes were sacrilegious, and he predicted that the wall would someday be destroyed.

Pope Paul III was astonished and angry, and he said that he'd excommunicate anyone who touched the wall.

Almost immediately, Michelangelo had an assistant stucco the lower right corner of the wall, and he painted da Cesena as Minos, the judge of Hades. Word got back to da Cesena and he demanded another visit, with the Pope in tow. Here, I quote from Irving Stone:

"You see, Holy Father," cried the Master of Ceremonies, "the report was true. Buonarroti has painted me into the fresco. With some kind of repulsive serpent for my genitalia."

"It's a covering," replied Michelangelo. "I knew you would not want to be portrayed wholly naked."

[–] stonebridge@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

"We're all out of Fig Leaf Green...!"

*Cracks knuckles.

[–] ilickfrogs@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

nice 'n tiny limp dicks too

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that was the ideal of male beauty, back in the day.

No dick-shamin'.

[–] ilickfrogs@lemmy.world 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

I mean flaccid dicks are small. And for fucks sake I'm glad they are. Could you imagine having to walk and maneuver yourself with a permanently massive shlong?

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Could you imagine having to walk and maneuver yourself with a permanent massive shlong?

Boy, that's a loaded question.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It is indeed a burden.

(I mean, I'm all of 5'8" and 138lbs., at least the good lord gave me something.)

[–] Moxvallix@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 year ago

wow 5’8” is quite the schlong

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'd hate to be the goddess of virility and have a permanent erection.

[–] TimeSquirrel@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago

goddess

erection

Hmmmm....

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Ok, goddess of virility made my day. TY

[–] menemen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Read into the differences of blood penises vs. meat penises. ( But don't do a picture search. Google misinterprets that terribly.)

My schlong can be as large as I want it to be... usually I go with the much more manageable 4" trouser snake. Anything bigger is just awkward.

Uhh, have you seen the sistine chapel? Those boys are hung!

[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 year ago

Look up the story of how he painted the Sistine Chapel. Madlad legit took no bullshit from the pope despite being commissioned by him, and the pope being the most powerful person in Europe at the time.

[–] Gabu@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

There's been no group in history more focused on penises than religious men. I'm sure they're fine with it.

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

There’s a Vincent Van Scoff joke in here somewhere.

[–] psyc@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I remember reading somewhere that he actually painted the ceiling in a standing position

https://www.history.com/news/7-things-you-may-not-know-about-the-sistine-chapel

Lots of fun facts