First check the software version. If they're at least fairly up to date, check the instances page. The blocks are in the bottom half.
Lemmy Support
Support / questions about Lemmy.
https://fba.ryona.agency/ is one website that can help, top search box searches for instances that have defederated from the one you entered, the bottom one lists the instances the one you entered defederated from.
It only shows full instance level defederation, not blocked communities though
Instances running lemmy-ui normally publish their list of federated and blocked: https://lemmy.ml/instances
There might be some scripts or websites out there comparing them.
I don't know instead of getting through the instances and see individually. However: Most big instances i've had a look at and i see regularly in the usernames block exactly this. I think it'll be rather easy to find one that matches those criteria.
Another question: Is there really CSAM on Lemmy? I can not believe that and haven't seen it either. (If this means what i think it does, i'm glad. I've been in all sorts of corners of Lemmy. And so far everything seemed alright except for some nuts that have radical political views.)
From what I’ve heard, at least. I know there’s unfortunately quite a lot of loli stuff based on the defederation lists I’ve seen. I’m happy to report that I’ve never had to see either here first-hand.
💀
piracy, steamdeckpirates and some other one from dbzer0.
I don't think anyone has created a resource that easily shows exactly what you are looking for - so you're probably going to have to do your own research manually.
If you haven't found it yet, this github project tracks tracks most known lemmy instances and tracks some high level metrics for them. Pay attention to the "BI" (Blocked Instances) column which shows how many instances they are blocking as well as the "BB" (Blocked By) column which shows how many other instances block them. It's worth pointing out that the "Users" column represents active monthly users and not total users.