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Another vote for Proxmox.
Backups: Proxmox Backup Server (yes, it can run in a Proxmox VM) is pretty great. You can use something like Duplicati to backup the PBS datastore to B2.
Performance: You can use ZFS in Proxmox, or not. ZFS gets you things like snapshots and raidz, but you will want to make sure you have a good amount of RAM available and that you leave about 20% of available drive space free. This is a good resource on ZFS in Proxmox.
Performance-wise, I have clusters with drives running ZFS and EXT4, and I haven't really noticed much of a difference. But I'm also running low-powered SFF servers, so I'm not doing anything that requires a lot of heavy duty work.
Does Proxmox still sit at the top of the stack if I'm not clustering?
I would say it's at the "bottom" of the stack - Debian is the base layer, then Proxmox, then your VMs.
Clustering just lets the different nodes share resources (more options with ZFS) and allows management of all nodes in the cluster from the same GUI.