Funny

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submitted 3 days ago by ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de to c/funny@sh.itjust.works

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Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house

everyone felt shitty

even the mouse.

With mom at the whore house

and dad smokin grass

I settled down

for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn

arose such a clatter

I sprang from my piece

to see what was the matter

and out on the lawn

I seen some big dick

and I knew in a moment

it must be St.Nick

he flew down my chimney like a bat out of hell

and i knew in a moment

the fucker had fell

He filled all our stocking with pretzels and beer

and a big rubber dick

for my brother, the queer.

then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart

the son of a bitch blew my chimney apart

cussing and cursing as he rode out of sight.

pissing on all

having one hell of a night.

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[–] slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

2nd place, actually.

First place: there once was a man from Nantucket...

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 days ago

Too short. Epic poems need to be more than 5 lines.