this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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All of my IRL friendships are based around activities - we play games together, we volunteer together, etc. When someone moves away and we try to keep the friendship going, it always just sputters out after a few weeks or months. It just seems to devolve into small-talk / catch-ups that neither of us are really interested in (I don't mind small-talk too much, but it can't be 100% of any meaningful relationship).

So: What is the point of a long-distance friendship for two people who have no plans to live locally again? What am I missing?

EDIT: I have close conversations in person that are deep and meaningful, just very rarely over text. Maybe I ought to phone or video call once in a while..

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[โ€“] Mothra@mander.xyz 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If you feel like you are not missing anything, then more power to you. It really has a lot to do with how you relate to people, it seems like for you it's activities only and you don't seem to bond intellectually too much or you wouldn't be asking.

I've had several long distance friendships, in fact I still have and they are among my most stable relationships outside of family. It's having those people you can rely on when things get tough for support, and also to share thoughts and discuss opinions or whatever - to have a conversation knowing we understand each other in a way most people don't. That can be very rewarding even if I don't see them face to face anymore, or, in some cases, even if I've never met them in person.

[โ€“] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

It's true that I don't seem to need company in the same way that lots of people do, but I don't think that's the issue here. I have good friendships with people in person, but can't seem to keep them up online. I think I'm just not as comfortable / good at talking over text for the more in-depth and interesting conversations that are worth having friends for