this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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My little sister was the special one, deserving of all the praise and the you can do anything attitude. I was the fuckup, who would be lucky to graduate high school. I wasn't discouraged, just not encouraged. A lost cause I guess, ignored mostly except when I needed the occasional bail or whatnot. My sister wanted to pursue her dream of being an actor, but never made it, worked at a theme park to pay the bills while doing student films (long after she was a student), eventually getting divorced and working some copy editing or marketing type gig for a small company. She is not on speaking terms with the family, something about accusing mom of writing a negative comment on the YouTube video of one of those student films. I meanwhile had bungled through college, but with the help of my then girlfriend and now wife ended up as a fairly successful attorney. I'm not the "the" of anything really, but I'm doing pretty good considering my background and low expectations.
I remember having dinner with my family at one point when I was in college. I had started as a music major, but switched to poli sci before going to law school route. I remember my sister saying it was "sad and depressing" that I gave up my dreams of playing music, while she was pursuing her dream of being an actor. Ten years later I have a good income, a job I generally enjoy, a good family, etc. my sister is divorced, never achieved her dreams, is working a soul sucking dead end job, seems close to broke, and is isolated from her family.
I think about that a lot now that I have a baby of my own. I want to encourage the kid, follow your dreams, you can be anything etc. But at the same time I don't want my kid to end up like my sister. I don't know the answer. Maybe it's a middle ground of "chase your dreams, but be reasonable, and life isn't just about fake and racking up accomplishments, enjoy normal things, don't pursue fame and fortune as if it's the only thing that will bring happiness".