ADHD

9669 readers

236 users here now

A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
Do not request for donations.
Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.com

172

Rant about "having ADHD is not an excuse for everything" (reddthat.com)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by souperk@reddthat.com to c/adhd@lemmy.world

74 comments fedilink hide all child comments

If you haven't heard this cliche while discussing your neurodivergency with someone, then I envy your luck. Yesterday I fucked up, I feel shitty, but also I am pissed.

Our brains are impulsive af and tend to forget the most important information. We mess up, our RSD (and empathy) kicks in, we feel terrible, we vow to be more careful, but guess what? Thats fucking exhausting.

As a result, we start overthinking our every waking moment, stressing over every little thing. Because, we are trying to be aware of the things we cannot perceive.

At some point, hopefully we realize that we cannot live like that, and we start to arbitrarily ignore our compulsion to overthink. Most often that works out great because most often the threat is not real, but sometimes we make the wrong call.

The times we overthink are still more than the times we do not, and we still mess up. Let us have our fucking peace.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] where_am_i@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

yeah, but "I have ADHD, so I'll never be on time" is a very shitty excuse. You waste other people's time.

"I have ADHD, so I hate queuing, so I'm not going with you to that famous museum" is boundaries.

don't confuse boundaries with expecting everyone around you to put up with your symptoms all the time.

[–] die444die@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

There’s also a big difference between “I’ll never be on time” and “there will be times I’m late because I have adhd”. But seriously if someone can’t handle my adhd symptoms I don’t expect them to, but they should also not expect me to care that they can’t deal with them. Because I don’t.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why the fuck is that not a valid excuse? It can be impossible to find sufficient support and adjustments to enable yourself to reliably arrive on time, saying shit like this is a great way to make people who are already struggling feel even more worthless, jesus christ.

Yeah sure, you can't expect people to literally always be able to accomodate every struggle everyone may have, but to just summarily say "deal with it" is so heartless..

[–] where_am_i@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

You can always, always, plan things in a way that you're an hour ahead of schedule. And you'll be on time. Or like 30 min too early.

It's your struggle and you can deal with it in a way that's costly to you or to everyone around you.

And the trend this days seems to completely utterly ignore your symptoms, develop zero coping mechanisms, and then rant on lemmy about the cruel society.