this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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Yeah. Hilarious.
Turn him down and he yells, calls the woman names, maybe attacks her now or later, stalks her, rapes her, murders her, kills a kid, shoots up a mall, or mows down a crowd with a van, or...
Men fear rejection, women fear being killed.
When men hear "What's the worst that could happen?" they focus on the "could" and think about probable results and rank them by awfulness. This makes sense because the gender of "man" is sociologically defined in no small part by expendability,
When women hear "What's the worst that could happen?" they focus on the "worst" and think about awful results and rank them by probability. This makes sense because the gender of "woman" is sociologically defined in no small part by preciousness.
This is completely garbage. The reason women have this attitude towards men is because of all the sexual assault that happens, more than 80% of the victims are women and more than 95% of the perpetrators are men.
This line of reasoning doesn't have anything to do with the lofty ideals of what a gender role is in society or women thinking themselves "precious" or focusing on "could" vs "worst" or whatever you call that. It has to do with the fact that, statistically, women are in more danger than men. Full stop.
This is demonstrably false. I followed your link and found that the original citation is "U.S. Dept. of Justice, Violence Against Women Report, 2002." I wasn't able to find this specific report to check the data, but the reference I usually use is the often-cited 2011 CDC Sexual Violence report, which is 10 years more recent, and which is also the origin of the "99% of rapists are men" myth (but more on that later), so I don't think you'd object to it too much.
Here are the statistics for sexual violence in the year 2011, according to the CDC:
And
Added together, we see that 7.1% of women and 5.1% of men reported being victims of sexual violence in 2011. That is, 58% of victims of all sexual violence in 2011 were women, and 42% were men. For every 3 female victims, there were 2 male victims.
Now on to your second claim: that more than 95% of perpetrators are men. From the "Characteristics of Sexual Violence Perpetrators" section about a third of the way down, keeping in mind the percentages above:
And
To help us with the breakdowns of these numbers, earlier in the report we find that:
So, of the 1.7% of made to penetrate male victims, 82.6% of perpetrators were female. Of the 1.3% sexual coercion, 80% of perpetrators were female. Of the 1.6% unwanted sexual contact, 54.7% were female, and of the 2.5% noncontact, 43.6% were female.
So, 1.4% of the 1.7% made to penetrate, 1% of the 1.3% sexual coercion, .9% of the 1.6% unwanted sexual contact, and 1.1% of the 2.5% noncontact.
So, 4.4% of the 7.1% of men reporting sexual violence had female perpetrators. That is, 62% of sexual violence against men is committed by women (in 2011).
So, going back to our numbers above, we see that 62% of the 42% of sexual violence with men as victims was committed by women.
Our final numbers are: 74% of sexual violence in total is committed by men, and 26% is committed by women. Which ain't great, but that feels a lot more realistic, and it's a far cry from the intentionally misleading numbers you're citing.
BUT IT GETS WORSE...
What happens when we look at just rape? Note that first we have to figure out what the CDC means by "rape", because at first "99% of rape is committed by men" looks pretty damning.
Well, "rape" is defined by the CDC for the purposes of this study as "completed or attempted forced penetration or alcohol- or drug-facilitated penetration". That is, only being penetrated counts as rape.
Men, on the other hand, get the completely separate category "made to penetrate", that is, "being forced to have sex with someone, just doing the penetrating instead of being penetrated."
So, 99% of rapists are men because rape is intentionally defined as "being penetrated" to exclude male victims of rape from the statistics. I wonder why...
Well, what happens when we actually look at those numbers, counting "made to penetrate" as, y'know, rape, because it is rape?
And
Which is, again, because male rape victims are effectively excluded from this definition. Also, we have this:
And
Note that these numbers clearly show that made to penetrate happens just as much each year as "rape". This means that fully half of rape victims are men (in 2011 - the number fluctuates in the other years of the study, but not more than 5%).
Finally, if 99% of rapists are men and 83% of "made to penetrators" are women ... then an estimated 42% of the perpetrators of nonconsensual sex (that is, rape) in 2011 were women.
Sorry for the wall of text, but I think it's important to debunk this sort of misandrist misinformation.
Edit: Here's a Time article that confirms these numbers. They also mention that boys under 15 are more likely to be sexually assaulted than women over 40, and are more than twice as likely to be assaulted as girls under 15.
I'm just going to leave the cdc report on sexual assault from 2010-2012 that says the same thing as my initial claim, with the same statistics in detail, for you to draw your own conclusions from. Check the tables from page 18 onward.
My friend, statistics aren't sexist. They just are. I don't really have time to sit here and argue that women suffer more from sexual violence than men do. It's not really up for debate, and I've learned not to engage the people who think it is.
If you're going to accuse me of misandry because I'm defending a woman's prerogative to feel safe, I'm just not going to fire back. Have fun with that.
I think you'll want to check those numbers, actually, since they perfectly match everything I'm saying (since it's the published CDC report from the same time). But it is reassuring that even the source you cite has the same numbers I'm citing.
If you're so certain that your numbers are borne out by the data, could you please point out exactly where your claim that "more than 80% of the victims [of sexual assault] are women and more than 95% of the perpetrators are men" is borne out by the yearly data in this report?
I agree, which is why I took the time to cite the statistics exactly, instead of throwing out random numbers that aren't borne out by the data.
I'm not arguing that women don't suffer more from sexual violence than men do. I'm just arguing that women suffer much less from sexual violence compared to men than is usually believed, that women commit sexual assault much more than is usually believed, and that men are raped as often as women are.
As you say, this is not up for debate, and whether you "debate me" or not, it won't change the facts, and I've made sure that this information is now available and organized for anyone who doesn't insist on closing their eyes to misandry.
Edit in response to your edit (the last line of your comment): That's not an accurate description of what's happening here, and playing the victim under the guise of "I'm just defending a woman's prerogative to feel safe" isn't going to work when all I've done is show that your misandrist claims about the perpetrators and victims of sexual violence are not correct.
Page 25 and 32. Male perpetrators only statistic.
It's not ambiguous.
I didn't claim that the statistics I made were on rape or penetration or any specific form of sexual violence. Just that incidences are much higher in women being the victims and men being the perpetrators.
Anyway, I'm not continuing this conversation further. It's completely ridiculous to look at these statistics and draw the conclusion that I must be misandrist for reading the numbers how they are, because your breakdown of the numbers don't exactly line up with mine but they still paint the same overall picture.
Have a good night.
Definitely common everyday occurrences and not massively-cherry picked sensationalism.
A completely irrational fear in the US at least, given that in a country of 340,000,000, less than 5,000 women are murdered a year. And that's even if you pretended every single murder was by a rejected man.
Stop letting ideological propaganda make you paranoid.