this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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[–] Rootiest@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bean salad?I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Bean Corp, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Heinz, and I have over 300 confirmed types of beans.I am trained in bean warfare and I’m the best Adzuki in the entire US beaned corps.You are nothing to me but just another bean.I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never bean seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, string bean. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Garbanzo beans across the USA and your baked beans are being traced right now so you better prepare for the soy, maggot.The soy that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life.You’re fucking dead, string bean.I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can bean you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my Edamame.Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed beaning, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Navy Beans and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little mung bean.If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking beans.But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn chickpea.I will shit furries all over you and you will drown in baked beans.You’re Fava, Pinto.