this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2024
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JD is weird.

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[–] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (4 children)

He's so weird

"I'll never forget the time I convinced myself that I was gay. I was eight or nine, maybe younger, and I stumbled upon a broadcast by some fire-and-brimstone preacher. The man spoke about the evils of homosexuals, how they had infiltrated our society, and how they were all destined for hell absent some serious repenting. At the time, the only thing I knew about gay men was that they preferred men to women. This described me perfectly: I disliked girls, and my best friend in the world was my buddy Bill. Oh no, I'm going to hell."

When he brought up the issue with his grandmother — known to Vance as "Mamaw" — she replied bluntly: "Don't be a fucking idiot, how would you know that you're gay?"

When Vance explained his reasoning, she laughed.

"JD, do you want to suck dicks?" she said, according to the book.

The young Vance, apparently "flabbergasted," said: "Of course not!"

"Then you're not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay," she replied. "God would still love you."

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 10 points 3 months ago

"JD, do you want to suck dicks?" she said

... as you do with 8-9 year olds.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He missed the most important part!

"Then you're not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay," she replied. "God would still love you."

[–] 4am@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

I did not expect the swearing granny to be the based one in the story

[–] fluxion@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There was a time when i would've assumed this was satire

[–] JimSamtanko@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This is absolutely what one should about say to a nine year old.