> Greentext

While much depends on how a weapon fits and feels while using it, an honest appraisal of your abilities and your commitment to practice and where you think you will use that firearm for defense.

While the .357 magnum is still considered the best "one shot man stopper" round even yet today, the bulk and weight of a revolver chambered in .357 coupled with the heavier recoil makes it less appealing to most shooters. Plus it is a lot more expensive to practice with. The current standard handgun thinking is 9mm is the correct choice. It's popular with militarizes around the world because it's cheaper to make and it's easier to train raw recruits in a reasonable amount if time to be at least adequate in it's use. That also tend to hold true for civilians.

A "nightstand gun" vs "carry guns" is another issue. A home defense gun that doesn't get carried can be larger and heavier than one you might want to regularly carry. Carrying a pistol can be a pain in the ass after a long day.

Think about where you might need to use that gun. A home defense gun in an urban area or inside an apartment, over penetration is a serious issue. A lot of rounds can easily go through walls and kill someone sleeping on the other side. The .357 is one of them and 9mm is not a lot better either. Oddly enough, the 5.56 rifle round, when tested, tends to penetrate walls less often than many self-defense handgun rounds - YMMV. An AR15 could be the safest choice for many.

My personal choice for a self-defense handgun is a 9mm SIG P365XL, (no safety version). It fits my XXL hand very well, points naturally when acquiring the target, and I like the flat trigger and sights. My wife prefers the S&W 9mm EZ, (manual safety plus grip safety). She likes the fit and the slightly less muzzle flip between shots.