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Hey lovelies, open question: Are any of you into self defense and do you want to share something with the rest of us?

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[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Thanks, that helps a lot.

What's your opinion on a lay person carrying a knife? What if they have basic training?

What would you recommend to people who want to know self defense for purely practical reasons? Follow some kind of workshop or take classes for a few weeks?

And well, now that I am coming at you any way with so many questions: what do you think of self defense spray paint that doesn't wash off, and or a personal alarm? At least over here real weapons are illegal.

[–] Gaywallet@beehaw.org 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What’s your opinion on a lay person carrying a knife? What if they have basic training?

Carrying any weapon increases the statistical likelihood that you will die to a weapon. Owning certain weapons increase the statistical likelihood that you die to that weapon. This is because if you bring a weapon to a fight, the other person often responds in kind and being armed when someone else is armed means tensions are higher and they are more likely to use deadly force. In the worse case scenario, you lose your weapon to someone else and get killed by it. Training will reduce the likelihood of being disarmed and increase your proficiency with any weapon, but what @TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee has been stating with regards to anyone being a deadly threat is extremely true- real confrontations don't happen like they do in movies and even a highly trained individual can be killed by a complete novice.

If you're looking for a self defense weapon one of the best self defense weapons that exists is not deadly at all, but rather debilitating - mace/pepper spray. It requires no training to use, it can be activated very quickly, and it is very portable. Depending on where you live it is possible that it is illegal, in which case this is simply not an option, but in most countries in the world it is a legal form of self defense. In countries where it is illegal, there are usually other irritant sprays which you have access to which may not be as strong but will generally speaking do the same thing. Some sprays are also designed to be slippery in addition to irritants which can make holding weapons difficult.

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

FYI I've left a reply

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

To answer in parts:

What’s your opinion on a lay person carrying a knife? What if they have basic training?

That circles back to two of my original points:

  1. A technique is only realistically useful to you if you’ve drilled it over, and over, and over
  2. The only way to win a knife fight is to run away from a knife fight

"Basic training" for blade combat is "dont"

What would you recommend to people who want to know self defense for purely practical reasons? Follow some kind of workshop or take classes for a few weeks?

Find a local martial arts gym that specializes in Jiu Jitsu and Krav Maga. Go for at least six months, and accept that if you stop going your skillset and abilities will begin to fade almost immediately.

Remember: A technique is only realistically useful to you if you’ve drilled it over, and over, and over

what do you think of self defense spray paint that doesn’t wash off, and or a personal alarm? At least over here real weapons are illegal.

Pepper spray and other irritants are the closest youre going to get to a catch all self defense tool that can be practically, consistently applied without training. Thing to note about that, youre not using an irritant spray to fight, youre using it to buy yourself time to run away. It also has to distinct disadvantage of affected you just as much as your opponent in the event it gets you.**

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I've been watching a few hours of videos and doing daily drills, and have planned to spar with a friend. I might visit a gym here or there, but can't do anything structured due to being a nomad.

Since I'm trans I get attacked a lot, but it's not so bad because it's mostly a certain type of person who can barely look straight out of their own head. Words work wonders for me.

Still, I feel it doesn't hurt to drill myself a bit from time to time. That's why I've been watching a few hours of videos and doing daily drills based on that. I've also planned to lightly spar with a friend. And I feel I have learned so much already. For example before it felt like an attacker would be a sort of flood light of hurt. Now I realize that power is applied mechanically, and I have power too.

I get it that deesclation is best, and that's what I have done so far. Training to suddenly sprint is a good next step. The level after that would be to have a basic understanding of the mechanics, in order to be able to for example get up properly and run. Someone already mentioned that grappling would be a good thing to understand here.

What really just puzzles me is what you guys are saying about weapons. You are really telling me that if I am in the forest alone with a guy, that a knife or pistol with basic training doesn't help me? Obviously I am here to learn, but what are you guys talking about? Statistics? Why can't I just shoot the guy in the leg? It's confusing!

Just to be clear, I can't use a pistol even if I wanted to because it's illegal here, or mace. But I might have a knife with me simply because it's useful. But still, isn't the best defense a good offense? What's the point of running if he runs after me? Isn't it better to break his arm and then run?

Everyone keeps talking about running as if it's so obvious. But I just don't understand, and honestly it's upsetting me. A clear counter argument for me is flipping the roles and me being the attacker and wanting to get something from you. I am convinced right now that I will be able to get you, even if you're a trained runner. But if you have a weapon I'd definitely think twice about what I am doing next. And if not a weapon, I am pretty sure hurting me in some way is going to get me to back off and find an easier target.

[–] t3rmit3@beehaw.org 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You are really telling me that if I am in the forest alone with a guy, that a knife or pistol with basic training doesn’t help me?

Ah, for this, let me wind back a bit.

Carrying a firearm every day, everywhere is not something I recommend.

Carrying for a specific threat profile is completely different.

Situations where you think you may become an opportunistic target, for example, are ones where I would consider a carry gun appropriate, with the proper training.

Jogging alone at night, camping, hiking, etc. Generally, situations where you are likely to find yourself isolated, but it's not feasible or reasonable not to be there or doing those things, are situations where I think a carry firearm makes perfect sense.

Why can’t I just shoot the guy in the leg?

I highly recommend anyone thinking of carrying take a CCW training class, even if your jurisdiction does not require a class or even a CCW (i.e. Constitutional Carry state). They will walk through a lot of the legal issues around justified use of lethal force, specific to a given jurisdiction.

Just to be clear, I can’t use a pistol even if I wanted to because it’s illegal here, or mace. But I might have a knife with me simply because it’s useful.

In a life-or-death situation, you use whatever you have. If you have a knife or a gun, you use it. But we're talking about preparing through training. If your jurisdiction doesn't allow pepper spray, disposable tasers, or guns, then it sounds like a knife may be all that's left beyond martial arts, and if you're at risk, carry one and train with it.

We're not telling you weapons aren't effective, we're saying they increase the risk profile in different ways, sometimes to yourself.

You could use one to avoid a fight, just to get thrown in jail because a court ruled you weren't justified using whatever method you did. You have to find out what laws you're subject to, and what room they leave you. Martial arts that's almost never an issue.

But seriously, I would never want to be in a knife fight. Rather that than dead, but at that point I'd almost rather carry a metal baseball bat with me (and a baseball for plausible deniability/ legal cover).

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wow thanks, that clarifies things. It actually made me angry this morning and so I did training to get the adrenaline out!

I think baseball bats and axes are illegal here too, unless you have a very specific reason, like going to training.

What I've learned from you all is that you need to drill something regularly or you won't be able to rely on it. So I've decided to play around with different styles that fit my lifestyle and needs, and to focus on one single attack and all that is needed to support it. I've incorporated it into my day already and will keep developing it and exploring.

I'll also learn to use my survival knife properly, including when not to use it, because of your advice.

[–] Gaywallet@beehaw.org 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It sounds like you reached a conclusion you're happy with but I did want to address a few things-

What really just puzzles me is what you guys are saying about weapons. You are really telling me that if I am in the forest alone with a guy, that a knife or pistol with basic training doesn’t help me? Obviously I am here to learn, but what are you guys talking about? Statistics? Why can’t I just shoot the guy in the leg? It’s confusing!

I brought up statistics because I think it's important to mention. When researchers look at recorded violent interactions they are able to see certain patterns from which we can draw certain conclusions. It turns out that most violent interactions happen between two armed individuals. This implies that when one individual is armed and the other is not, that they feel a certain level of safety being armed and don't often escalate to violence as often. We can also look at broad strokes for weapon ownership in places where you need a license to be armed - and we find that people who get a license to have a weapon are more likely to be injured in a violent altercation with someone else. In short, owning any weapon increases the likelihood that you get into a violent altercation with someone else. What I'm getting at here is that arming yourself might make you feel more safe, but it can also be a form of escalation in an altercation. Someone who might be responsive to you de-escalating with speech might not be responsive if you're also pointing a weapon at them.

I don't say this to discourage you from owning a weapon, especially if you are a target. I'm trans too, so I fully understand being attacked and the desire to arm yourself. I think it's important to think about what kind of weapon you are bringing, however, and how those weapons are perceived. If someone pulled a can of mace on me, for example, I'm going to approach that person much differently than if they pull a knife or a gun and I think that distinction is important when it comes to escalation. Non-lethal forms of self defense escalate less than those that are lethal and some non-lethal forms such as defensive sprays are really easy to use, have good range, and are easily concealed making them ideal self-defense weapons.

isn’t the best defense a good offense? What’s the point of running if he runs after me? Isn’t it better to break his arm and then run?

I think you are underestimating the risk of getting in to any physical altercation with someone. Even if you break his arm, that may not stop his pursuit and depending on how close you are to him when you break his arm, it's possible he could incapacitate you in some way at the same time you break his arm. You causing physical damage to him may also cause him to respond spitefully towards you - the anger at you hurting him may bring him to injure you as a response to that, above and beyond the initial intent (or in the worst case scenario, inspire him to murder). Furthermore, in many situations he may not be acting alone and being good at getting away and drawing attention to yourself are much better ways to survive as social pressures and being seen doing illegal acts or pursuing others is usually a good incentive for them to not pursue. In general, violence should always be seen as a means of last resort, because that escalation almost always means an escalation in response, especially when we are talking about someone who already showed up with violent intent.

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 2 points 3 months ago

Thanks for you care. I've thought about it and I understand now that I shouldn't just pull out knife willy nilly, as it is like throwing gasoline on a fire. But if things escalate from their side to a certain level, I'll be ready to combine the knife with my normal defense. And I am thinking only for counters here, so it is morally and legally right. I'll be careful.

Fun fact someone just gave me her knife. It's exactly what I needed and wanted. The type, material, the size, quality etc. It's perfect for camping, cooking etc and can be worn on the belt.

I can wear it on the belt when out in nature. I'll leave it in my bag in most other situations, and for sure when crossing the border. That way I always have a reason to carry.