this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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[–] AppleTea@lemmy.zip -1 points 6 months ago
*Kinda hard to have an equal discussion when being a woman entails being sexually harassed and occasionally assaulted by a bunch of men, mostly ones you barely know or don’t know at all, on a regular basis before you even hit puberty.*

genuine question, how do you expect it to get any better if you aren’t being civil?

The decision matrix here isn't [civil engagement ||or|| uncivil engagement], but rather:

[civil engagement and incur non-zero risk of uncivil retaliation ||or|| do not engage]

Non-participation is the safer option, broadly speaking. If your speaking with a stranger, it's better to let a minor slight slide, than to engage civilly. As you get to know someone better, as you become more familiar with conditions, this chart becomes a secondary consideration or even unnecessary. But with strangers, you never know if you're dealing with an outlier.