this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2023
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Two weeks ago, I had a date with a girl I met through a dating app. She was really nice, we had a great conversation and she told in person at the bar she would love to see me again.

Well fast forward a week, I keep texting her to set something up, but she's not responding. I think she's ghosted me. I mean, that's fine, but if you don't want to date me anymore, then just let me know. I will respect your decision.

Dating is so frustrating sometimes... It's really fucking hard and I sometimes feel lonely because of my lack of success. I have a good job and I'm a nice guy... but eh... I digress.

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[–] Smathy@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I have definitely told guys at the end of a date that I "want to see them again" while having no intention of seeing them again. It's a safety thing. IME guys can Jekyll and Hyde pretty hard when being rejected.

I know it can hurt feelings, but when it comes down to it, my safety > your feelings

[–] ComatoseSquirrel@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago

I would never recommend putting yourself at risk, but ghosting the person after lying that you'd like to see them again is just a dick move.

[–] pythonoob@programming.dev 9 points 1 year ago

What a shitty take. You can tell the guy afterwards via messaging. Not hard...

[–] Fabrik872@apollo.town 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I (man) had similar experience as op and i tougth that people on dating apps are really rude for some reason that it is a apps community thing or something this scenario never occure to me as a option. Is really meeting some foreigner as a girl so scary and/or dangerous?

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yes it is scary and dangerous. Additionally, some completely flip or "just" start insulting you when you say you don't want to see them again. I am happier single than trying to go on dates and I bet that's one of the reasons only 20 % or so of the users on dating apps are women.

[–] WhiteHawk@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

What a weak excuse for your shitty behaviour. You can just not tell them in person, but afterwards online.

[–] borkcorkedforks@kbin.social -2 points 1 year ago

I'd get saying it if they ask but might not need to be said if they don't ask for a second date on the spot.

[–] Silviecat44@vlemmy.net -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Smathy@kbin.social 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

After being threatened, stalked, followed and sexually assaulted by men I've rejected in person, I'm totally okay with being mean if it lets me avoid all that.