And I wrote out a really long reply but.. I deleted it. Because it was probably too much trauma to throw at someone I don’t know :) and I really enjoyed what you wrote to me, but I know that I’m “much”, sometimes “a bit much”, sometimes “too much”.. either way I don’t want to lead on that because it never works out for me so.

I really enjoy you friend and I want you to know I read everything you wrote I just don’t have the gonads to actually engage with this the way I want to.

Instead, here’s something that helped me be who I am today (jokingly, old humor you may recognize)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ygQ8mFo9cHY

[–] herrcaptain@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I definitely recognize that video! I'm sure I saw it on Ebaums World or something way back before YouTube.

As to your comment itself - don't worry about being "too much" with me, especially after that info dump I fired at you. Many of us at my work struggle with mental illness and joke about how blatantly we trauma-dump on each other all the time. Sooooo, I'm used to it, and regularly perpetrate it myself. I've also been through two full-on mental breakdowns myself so not a lot can shock me.

It's late and I need some sleep but if you ever need a friendly ear to vent to, add me on Mastodon ( @herrcaptain@geekdom.social ) or straight up shoot me an email ( herrcaptain@proton.me ). I skimmed some of your comment history and you seem like a good egg and we have a lot of common ground for a friendship.

[–] BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.net 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate you friend. It’s been a solid while since I drank (which is better for everyone, I’m a fucking mess!) and so I’m kinda very aware of myself. I’m trying to be a better person and I fail every time. So if I limit my exposure surface area I can’t be so abrasive right…? Or something? (Frankly idk what’s wrong with me, but I’m clearly unlikeable so I try to limit my.. exposure surface area I guess? Hence deleting my post. But telling you about it because i want to social..

I hope you have a wonderful night, and sleep wonderfully. I always like to encourage my friends to have soecific thoughts, so if you read this before you go to bed, I hope you fall asleep thinking about a random mountaintop stream leading into a lakebed. I hope you see trees around you, filled with fireflies. You see the lake lapping at your feet with the wind, and bioluminescent glow around your toes.

Have a great night friend and wonderful dreams :)

[–] herrcaptain@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You as well, my dude! And for the record, you seem very likable to me. Please do feel more than welcome to reach out if you ever need a friendly ear. I often feel powerless in the world, but one thing I am capable of is acting as a sounding board for someone who needs to vent. As I said in another comment earlier today, I'm pretty pessimistic about the state of the world, so these days I focus on just helping people where I can.

[–] BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.net 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Aww that’s super nice of you :) even my friends struggle to…. Not dislike me :) I struggle with it myself but you made it a bit easier today, being very open to things.

It won’t be tonight but I do hope to run into you again. I… can’t reach out to you, it just isn’t a thing I can do at this point (always goes horribly) but if you do want to keep touch, please do feel free to dm me, or whatever that looks like on Lemmy/fediverse..?

Honestly it has not happened, and irl people who give me their contact info tend to do so with zero expectation of follow-up (I have learned through failed attempts to follow up), so idk how to do it or what it looks like.. but I would like to keep contact if you’d be into it.

But if not o hope you have a great night all the same :) no pressure or whatever :) but do think of that mountain stream, maybe throw in glowing trees if you feel adventuresome! I have a whole dream town and it’s so fun to have a place to explore. Give yourself a glowing woods while you can ;)

[–] herrcaptain@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well, I've favorited you here on Lemmy and will make sure to keep in touch. I wasn't sure there was a DM feature, but looking in my app it appears there is, so I'll do that in the coming days to check in.

No glowing trees in my dreams, but a good sleep nonetheless so thanks for that!

[–] BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.net 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Zomg I totally missed this message, I’m sorry, so I guess this is ME checking in on YOU a couple days later ;)

Sorry to hear the glowing didn’t work but thrilled to hear you had a good sleep anyway. That’s hard to come by sometimes :)

[–] herrcaptain@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 months ago

No worries! I just shot you a DM being that this thread is already so long. It's the first I've sent on this platform, so let me know if you don't end up receiving it.