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Oh my. My ADHD is on fire today so I'm gonna be slow to reply to this one hahah. I'm having a really hard time organizing my thoughts and writing them down is going to be difficult as every line I read just sends me into a absolute trainwreck of thoughts. So. Many. Thoughts. I will be back with a reply as soon as my brain is untangled.
I don't... think that I have ADHD (read as: I think that I might have some form of ADHD or something along those lines:-P) - or rather I think we all lie on the spectrum somewhere, and especially highly intelligent people tend to do things differently than the "average" ones. It may look disorganized to those outside, who prefer the more rigid disciplined attack-vector style, but inside that mindset we know better: it is creative, it is spontaneous, it is fun and... yeah, it gets tiring:-). It is fucking mathematical poetry is what it is! Or at least that is how I think of it.
So rest easy: I am not judging you, truly. I hope you will not forget me entirely, but you definitely should hold off on reading all of that huge wall of text until you have the capacity. :-) You already went so far above and beyond to report back on the video, and ~~maybe~~ I should have altered my own actions there to not lay such a heavy burden on you to feel "pressured" to respond quickly. Also I ~~could~~ really should have taken time on my own to re-word it significantly shorter, which would have helped a ton:-). Sorry if I was disrespectful in that manner.:-)
I do so very much enjoy hearing your thoughts though - keep preaching them sista! (if/when/as you want:-)
Oh no! I didn't mean anything about what you wrote or your writing style or anything. Sorry if I came across that way. I think we have a very similar writing style, no offence 😂
The autism spectrum is a strange and fascinating thing. I'm also not entirely convinced ADHD is really a separate thing, just ADHD being a set or subset of traits within the autism spectrum that we've decided to identify and label as ADHD instead of lumping it with autism. Autism and ADHD have very high rates of comorbidity, the major differentiating factor between the two is that ones traits/symptoms can be managed using stimulants.
It is easy to think that everybody must be on it a little bit but I'm not sure that's the case. I know for me it's something that has definitely crossed my mind but the more I thought about it, the closer I got to the conclusion that it is more likely that I have inadvertently surrounded myself with people who are also on the spectrum/neurodivergent. We kind of speak the same language and have many shared experiences/traumas so it would be no surprise that we would associate.
I do believe that many people we consider highly intelligent are/were on the spectrum. It does grant the "ability" to think in completely different ways and to view very different perspectives. It can be a blessing and/or a curse, very rarely a blessing alone.
Welp, I don't decide when I get going but when I do, I have a hard time stopping 💀. I'm gonna manually pull the brake here and cut off that rant right there 😅
I did read it though! Sorry I thought I mentioned that in my previous post but apparently I didn't hahah. I just wanted to let you know that I had seen and read your comment but I'm having a very low-functioning day today. The subjects brought up are not subjects I take lightly and even though we're not doing much more than shooting the shit on the internet, you've brought things up that I really want to ponder and explore before taking the time to reply. I appreciate the conversation with you and I know it takes time and energy to put thoughts on paper. Just wanted you to know it wasn't a waste, I am still listening.
Not at all. That's 100% on me, that's just how I am. There's probably (definitely 100%) trauma hiding somewhere behind that but that's another comment thread 😂
You have not been disrespectful in any way. I know how it is when you start writing and more and more stuff just keeps coming up, no reason not to share those thoughts. Pound away on that keyboard. I'll talk to you soon!
I will say this again down below but I like it so much that I want to repeat it to start out with as well, if you do not mind: Thank you for your kind words:-).
I tend to think of ADHD & autism as more chemical, whereas for me it is my trauma and decisions that have created this. I could be making stuff up and it is all that way. The brain is weird, and trauma is a bitch, on steroids:-P.
Moreover, I think everything that is an advantage is also a disadvantage, and vice versa. It is like the game rock-paper-scissors: nothing is "best", only good in certain contexts, but you never know what the next round will bring.
The ability to "shut out the world" and just CREATE - it can literally change the world, and also at the same time get you fired. It did for Steve Jobs, and then weirdly enough they brought him back! The execs reportedly hated that they had to do that, yet needed him b/c otherwise they could not create money out of thin air. It must have been so humiliating to them, to have to bow before the laws of economics and touch reality so directly, rather than simply impose their will and have everyone immediately say "yes!". Anyway I am proud to be neurodivergent, and went looking for ways to further break out of the mold. But then likewise after I left my last position, I am also looking to reign that in too, so that I can maintain a steady income as well as create:-P.
You too are getting better at that I see - and that's definitely a good thing:-). Whether we are ever truly the masters of our own fate or not, we can at least step up and attempt to grab the reigns, and I think that's a good thing (otherwise, the reigns wouldn't even need to be there?:-D).
I've said this to others too, and I will say it again: I prefer thoughtful replies. I reply to enough common stuff all across the Fediverse that I'm solid on the "banter", but it is so rare to have the TRULY thoughtful ones. Like cooking, it is worth the wait for the preparation time:-).
And I believe you about the trauma causing you to feel "anxiety" for not responding sooner. I... well let's just say that I ABSOLUTELY understand that (yes, you guessed it: I am the same way, and like you I fight that).
Thank you for your kind words:-).