this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2024
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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"Is there something you don’t understand about dating and want to share your frustration?"
Literally all of it. I do not date full stop. I haven't gone on a date in over a decade, and before that experience it had been another decade. It's almost certainly never going to happen again. I don't understand anything at all about dating. How do you meet people? How do you enjoy time with them? What is even going on?
Do you want to date and these questions are more about trying to understand the process and dynamics of dating or are you unsure whether you want to date (or definitely do not want to)?
It's more to vent than anything! Though I have read the responses so far and I do want to understand how it works for others. Realistically, my questions and uncertainties are something that would take many conversations with a therapist for me to understand how to navigate so I don't expect to learn much aside from curiosity here. I think I would like to find a partner that I'm compatible with perhaps.. but I am not ready and may never be. The dynamics TERRIFY me. Absolutely TERRIFY me.
Okay gotcha. To answer some of your questions directly:
You sound very adventurous! Thanks for the perspective!
I kind of feel the same way. I met my wife through friends after I had kind of given up. So I recommend that approach. I never had any success with the dating to meet someone idea. I was more or less clueless too.
I really have had only two long term relationships. An on and off one with a childhood friend which failed for many reasons but mostly location and career issues. The other is my wife which was after my career got going and I had a stable location. There were a few people I asked out... and even fewer that accepted... and maybe only one that was more then one date.
Moral is you may still end up finding someone after giving up. There is something said for being open even after giving up. It also only takes finding one reasonable person.