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We've both got ADHD, so I definitely feel for you. Thankfully, our daughter seems to be more of a night owl. Not perfect, but a lot easier to cope with than an ADHD lark would be!
I would almost prefer to have it myself, so at least then I'd know what they're going through.
It has like 73% heritability. Surely they got it from one of y'all? I've just started exploring a diagnosis in my 30s, and holy hell is it helping me make sense both of why I struggle so much and why my dad's so bonkers. Really recommend working with some professionals. I'm working on a degree in psych and can navigate the criteria from the DSM fairly well but I'm also working with individual and family therapists to help me and my family work through the hell it caused us from not knowing, plus how I can better understand/manage it moving forward
We're pretty sure the wife has it. I'm more or less the least diagnosable person in my social circles, to my unending chagrin and everyone else's general incredulity