this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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I had to stop posting photos of me feeding my baby on FB (even when you couldn't see shit or only a tiny bit of skin) because I would ALWAYS get random creeps PMing me.
I'm also an admin in a pregnancy/birth group and I constantly have to block scody arseholes from trying to join. It gets depressing sometimes. I can only imagine what r/breastfeeding mods have to endure to keep the community safe.
The reality is that creeps harassing pregnant women is the least of reddit's problems.
I mean, not so long ago reddit hired a paedophile apologist and IRC diaper play furry fetishist as an admin. They claim they forgot to vet them, but this is the site that tolerated a subreddit with pictures of underage girls for years and gave the mod a custom award.
Expecting reddit to be a safe space for this kind of thing, is like worrying about Epstein stealing beer from the fridge, after you've asked him to baby sit.
Honestly, you might as well burn the whole thing down to the ground. That's the only way to make that site safe for women.
Further reading for those who weren't around or didn't get to hear about it because of censorship on reddit:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aimee_Knight
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controversial_Reddit_communities
I'm struggling to properly convey the feelings of Fremdscham and guilt by association that that kind of person gives me as a man. I feel like I need to apologize for something I wouldn't ever do myself nor let anyone I know get away with doing.
hey, in the eyes of this woman (me) at least, you seem to be doing your best. keep holding the people you know accountable for bad actions. act when you see bad behavior... it might not be safe to confront the offender, if so, support the victim. it's all you can do. in my opinion, you have no need to apologize for others... you can't change or control what another person will do. you can only control what you do.
I hear you on the guilt by association. But you don't ever need to apologise for being born who you are. What you do with your life is what matters the most. As @offendicula said, you can't control other people, you can only control yourself. Being a good role model to and good influence on other men and boys is one of the single best things you can do. :)