Atheism

If people donate money to me, a middle aged LGBTQ+ person, I'll fistfight Mike Johnson in the middle of the House floor. If you don't fund this brawl, god will probably smite you or else absolutely nothing will happen. Definitely one or the other. But if you're a real patriot, you're as concerned about the state of Mike Johnson's face, which has so far remained unpunched, as I am and you don't want to see this country fall any further into the kind of place where we don't pop assholes directly in their mouths when they get out of line.