this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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My kid is younger but we moved from the suburbs to a dense urban area shortly after he was born. I have to agree even though he’s not yet that independent. Some of my friends back in the burbs were like “what are you going to do with a kid in the city?” But we ride bikes to parks and gardens, go to different museums and the zoo, visit festivals for different cultures. It’s pretty awesome and almost every weekend is an eventful thing for us.
A thing often misunderstood by suburb and rural denizens is that when beautiful and interesting things are more easily available to you you can actually make meaningful use of them. Sure, they'll brave the city once every six months and maybe go to the zoo or a cultural event once or twice a year, but nothing beats being able to do these things on a random weekend (or sometimes even weeknight) without much hassle, additional cost, or preparation.
Yea, Cities are great and all, but I'd argue nothing beats having 103 acres of forest and field and a house or two to play around in. I don't need to go to a park, I step outside. I can have different hobbies with space for a wood shop, a sawmill, a backhoe etc... I can ride 4wheelers and offroad my crossover on a private road / path we built. I don't have to hear sirens daily/nightly, or worry about lights shining in my bedroom window. I can go for a walk or hike on my property and not see any strangers. I can go swimming or fishing in my pond, I can play badminton and boccie ball and croquet in my lawn.
I'm not saying that cities are bad, but to claim rural people don't have beautiful and interesting things easily available to them is just misunderstanding what some people find beautiful and interesting. I'm just back from London, and while Christmas at Kew was amazing, and better than anything I've ever seen in the US, it's not like I don't have access to theaters, stores, and events like Christmas Markets, though we do them as summer festivals and the like. They're also ~ 30 minutes away, similar to how long I'd spend on getting to the tube, on it, and getting to the event location from my hotel. It's just far more convenient to walk a much shorter distance to the car, drive to the local small city, and walk a shorter distance from parking to the festival or show, or whatever. We have local museums, but I think you overestimate how much people who aren't tourists go to the museums. I haven't been to any of my local ones in quite a while, and I remember my NYC family never went to the museums - it's always the "huh, yea, I never had a reason to go outside of a tourist family member showing up".
That is rural life though, not exactly suburban. Suburbs have the worst attributes of the city and countryside, while having little benefits of both)
They may have accessible nature, though not all of them even enjoy that in my experience, but they often do not have easily accessible cultural experiences at all. Not everyone appreciates the things they live by, and that's just humanity. We can be miserable anywhere.
But it's been my experience living in the states that it's extremely commonplace for people to shit on the very idea of cities, and especially raising children in them, and overwhelmingly encourage people to set up shop miles away from their jobs in the suburbs and rural areas despite the downsides.
The main thing I see is our cities still often require you to have a car, yet rent is 3x or more what it is out in the burbs. It's hard to make that work. I don't think anyone likes commuting a long way. Though I think we need both more housing in cities to try and drive the prices down and more WFH so less commuting in general.
Yeah it's a pretty sad situation exacerbated by the pandemic too. A lot of people left cities, but in many cases (e.g. my city) prices still went up anyway. I bought in early 2020 before the insane price hikes, and now I'm very glad I did as basically nobody can afford these prices unless they're already in the market.
But I agree with everything you said, and I vote against the "preserve our single family neighborhood" politicians whenever I see them on the ballot.
The problem is just, people picked where they live partly based on the environment. People don't want their neighborhoods changed. That said I don't like zoning that makes it impossible to try and buy people out so you can build a apartment building.
You can only really count on your property not changing when you buy a property.
As the gp poster I didn’t mean to sound like I’m dumping on rural life. I grew up in a rural area, riding four-wheelers and roaming the woods till the sun went down. One of my best friends started a family around the same time I did and opted to buy some acreage a decent commute away from town. They ride dirt bikes with their kids on literal mountains in the backyard, have a chicken coop and machine shop, deer wander up and eat their vegetable garden. It’s super rad and I wouldn’t mind having gone that route either.
I really didn’t dig the suburbs and having to drive literally everywhere though. On the balance I liked the diversity in the city and having easy access to metropolitan amenities. I’d never shit on the rural route and it may well be where I end up, I just thought it was wild how much blowback I got from wanting to raise a kid in the city.
Honestly the only problems I see with cities is the cost if they're not able to set you up car free. If you're paying 3x in rent, if you can't offset that by not paying the car costs you have to be making a lot more money. And most US cities don't make it easy to go carless.
I wish I could upvote you more than once.