I can find hundreds reasons that's the problem it is going so fast and I haven't yet learned tenth of the shit I wanted to. I need to grow my ass, I need to grow my boobs, I need to learn playing skyrim soundtrack on guitar, then violin lotr, then drawing fun characters then electronics, robotics maybe. Read about all the history of every country. I often wonder why am I so resistant to stuff when everyone seems doing bad and it is either some innate slight psychopathy (that still allows me to be a good person and everything) or innate stoicism? I am objectively not doing that good in theory, on paper I just embrace small good things and don't care or dwell about the bad much