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AI won't take your job, might shrink your wages, European Central Bank reckons
(www.theregister.com)
This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
I'll learn to trade deez nuts
Castration is an option, though it may not be as lucrative as you've been led to believe
I'll cut off my balls, put them on a string, and throw it around like Spiderman to teabag people from a distance