Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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You could set up NodeRed and make your own notification flow with a caldav/iCal input and a email or chat service output.
It looks like I'm gonna call that my "second to last resort." I'm not a programmer or developer of any kind, and that looks pretty intense for me.
It uses "visual programming" so it is actually quite easy to do (as long as you use the pre-made modules) even without any prior knowledge. And once you set that up you will likely find many other neat ways to use it 😊