this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 44 points 11 months ago (3 children)

*Gabe starts gesturing to his lawyer to do something*

"Just answer the question."

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I mean the simple response from the lawyer is, "Objection, relevance," and the question gets tossed out.

I demand accuracy in my jokes, even if it kills them.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

"Objection, relevance?"

"Public interest."

(Though in my joke I meant his lawyer, instead of objecting, would entreat his client to answer the question)

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 17 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Ah, I understand now. [MODIFYING JOKE MATRIX TO ACCOMMODATE NEW INFORMATION]

"Your honor, I need to fire my lawyer."

"Mr Newell, no competent lawyer in this country would defend you on this point. If you do not answer the question I will hold you in contempt."

[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

This is how we win

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

Lmao this is great

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Gaben will then slowly drop his head and whisper into the microphone with a wry chuckle - "You fool. You have just activated my trap card."

Immediately, the Half Life 3 release will drop. Gaben has been holding it back, continuously updating for decades, awaiting exactly this moment. The judge, completely flabbergasted at the proceedings will immediately declare a mistrial. Legal scholars will then study the "Gaben defense" for decades.

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

Does "no comment" count as an answer?