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Is it too late to date for me? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by alphapro784@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️

It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.

This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.

I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.

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[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You might be behind on dating, but you're also behind on divorce. Trust me, it's a double-edged sword, and if you rush into it, you'll only get stabbed in the back. Though of course that isn't to say loneliness itself feels like a dagger (mine is inscribed "platonic" on it). How many platonic friends do you have?

[–] alphapro784@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Quite a lot actually, its just that friendships are not really an issue for me but more so like romance I guess. I feel like I can't for the life me flirt or anything that'll convey that I am romantically interested without scarring them off or just get friend zoned (friend zoned is not a bad thing for me I am more than happy to have more friends in life). Its just you know it feels like you're in stuck under a glass ceiling that you can just can't break is what I feel about dating in general.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What would you say separates friendship from a romantic partnership, something you can say always applies to romantic partners but never applies to friends?

[–] alphapro784@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Well one thing is that with friends they can come and go a lot more often than romantic relationships. The other thing when it comes to romantic relationships is where you feel a connection which is special and it’s not like spark but more so a level of comfort. A more important aspect that differentiates between friendships and romantic relationships is the vulnerability it offers for men like me but hear me out it’s that men cannot feel the same vulnerability with friends even if you’re the closest heart-to-heart level I’m talking but with relationships it’s just you don’t feel the need to hide things. Sex is the obvious difference lol but that’s like the last thing I’m interested in cause that’s like when we’re the most vulnerable. I mean this is the best I could come up with what makes friendships and romantic relationships separate.