this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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Mansplaining is sexist for condescension.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Edit: Misandrists love a double standard.
I've been told I mansplain things because I'll ask someone if they understand something and then explain it anyways.
What they don't realize is the amount of times I've asked someone if they understood something, have them say yes, then explain it, and they had no idea what I was talking about.
I'm not doing it to be condescending. I'm doing it so I know you actually understand what I'm saying.
I'm also autistic so it's probably just that but it's infuriating either way.
I find it gets a lot simpler, stupid people are adverse to being told anything by anyone who knows more.
I've never once felt condescended to just because someone was explaining something I understand, I feel vindicated that someone agrees with me and knows what I know so we share common grounds for communication.
The problem is people conflating actual condescension with explanation.
That was an explanation, if you still don't understand I'll grab some crayons and we can find out your favourite flavour.
That was condescension.
If anyone still needs help understanding I'm happy to take questions. Those behaving in good faith will be explained to, those choosing to be belligerent will be condescended to.
And those that think you can fight misogyny with misandry, well you need some more books in your kitchen.
That's a joke.
Have you thought about just letting people fail, even if they say they understand and you know full well that they don't? Failing is an important learning experience that often leads to a more positive learning outcome.
I had a tendency to do exactly as you described when I first started working in academic/corporate settings but someone else pointed this same thing out to me and it's honestly been a gift that keeps on giving.
"That asshole knew I was wrong and did nothing!"
"That asshole must have explained it wrong!"
Some people will always have an excuse.
A condescension in which men have traditionally excelled, hence its association with men.
I think you may need some more experience with women. :)
Really, all this gender bickering is so infantile. We are mostly the same, but have different strengths and weaknesses. Guys are better at some things, worse at others, in general.
Women are not some flawless creature ok? You will see with time if you haven't. :) Only in teenage Hollywood movies are they there as some form of meaning of life, and I guess it feels like that at that age.
Huh? I just meant that men have a tendency to explain things rather patronizingly and longwindedly to women. I said nothing about women being perfect.
And of course not all men all the time etc. But it happens.
Yeah ok, I just meant to say that I know many woman who explain things to their husband's as if they are idiots, and they make no attempt at hiding that they think they are idiots. :)
Haven't you had that in your life? Women will not hold back what they think. :)
Oh so you're saying women can't be as condescending as men? That is sexist! Women can do anything men can do just as well.
It's hard to be humble when you're just so goddamn good
Oh honey, bless your heart.