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Trust me... Pick an apple and read the review (applerankings.com)

submitted 1 year ago by lumi@beehaw.org to c/humor@beehaw.org

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An excerpt from Red Delicious:

Oh how the mighty have fallen! Believe it or not, the coffee grinds in a leather glove known as “The Red Delicious Apple” was once a robust firebrand credited with reinventing the apple from mere cider-fruit into a full-fledged lunch-worthy sidepiece. It even won the Stark Brothers apple contest in 1894. Likely your great-grandma’s favorite apple, this once flavorful Prometheus has been mass-produced into desolation.

Nowadays, you can find this thick-skinned, flavorless, mealy imposter unwashed in a dirty wicker basket on the floor of a convenience store. What a sad state of affairs. It’s time to hang them up old man, your time has passed.

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[–] NeonSkies@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

As an enjoyer of apples, I feel seen :D So very many mediocre ones out there, and yet they keep hanging on!