this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2023
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Autism

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„Read the room“ triggers me to no end (discuss.tchncs.de)
submitted 1 year ago by Haui@discuss.tchncs.de to c/autism@lemmy.world
30 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Recently I read through the comments on a post and someone suggested OP should „just read the room“.

I have been told this since I was young and it triggers me every time.

Being unaware of social dynamics in a situation is a thing a lot of autistic people I know struggle with. „Reading the room“ in my understanding means „becoming aware of the unspoken things in a situation“.

Collins dictionary says: If you say that someone reads the room, you mean that they understand their audience and adapt what they say to suit it.

I think, although not on purpose, saying this is massively ableist and making fun of someone for „not reading the room“ is harassment imo.

Feel free to give an opposing opinion as well. I would like to hear them.

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[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A lot of people tend to default to viewing others as a version of themselves, since they understand themselves more then others.

It may be abelist to say, but that's because they probably can't understand people who don't have the same neuro balance that they have.

[–] Haui@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I‘m not sure I understand what you‘re trying to say, sorry.

In autistic people we call this mind blindness. I‘m gifted and for me, all people are gifted and are deliberately not getting what I get which frustrates the hell out of me.

But I choose to leave them be. I wish they would do the same for me. :)

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People might not understand they are being abelist because they are going to view other people through how they act. They may not understand how someone can be mind blind or face blind.

I also say understand because people may "know" something, but that doesn't mean they understand it.

[–] Haui@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 year ago

Makes total sense! Thank you for mentioning it. I think we are often assuming malice when incompetence is more likely.