this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
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I don't know honestly at this point I've stopped asking questions

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[–] Portosian@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a weird take on this. Not liking or being good at small talk does not equate with disliking the person. It certainly doesn't mean you "hate interacting with them".

[–] Kimano@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Talking to a friend you haven't seen in a while about what's new in your life is basically the opposite of "small talk'. I can empathize with those kind of social interactions being hard for some people, but it's a social skill that's worth either practicing or finding alternative paths to accomplish if you want to make and keep friends.

[–] faintbeep@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Talking to a friend you haven’t seen in a while about what’s new in your life is basically the opposite of "small talk’.

Only if something unusual has happened. Otherwise it's just small talk about work and your family's health. By a certain age there's basically never anything "new" in your life.

[–] Fenix@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm very socially awkward, I don't understand the issue here. No one's going to be mad at you for saying "Meh, not really, what about you?"

[–] Cabrio@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

The expectation that the answer will change over time wears one down when it doesn't.

[–] Kimano@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Sure, but I wouldn't really find the process of starting the conversation to find that out "small talk". Even if there's not a lot new most of the time, to me small talk has to be the kind of banal and meaningless conversations that basically never lead into those 'real' ones. How's the weather, what about that local sports team, did you see someone bought that house/building/store down the road, etc.

I think the complicated thing is there are people you don't really know, acquaintances, where the generic "how's the wife and kids" is small talk, because they don't actually really care, it's just a generic greeting thing. But a friend asking that is different, imo.

[–] aoidenpa@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

When you masturbate all day wearing a helmet, that simple "What's up?" can be quite painful.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

If it is small talk depends on your answers. If they are flippant like the examples given above, then they are small talk. But it can also give a jumping off point to talk about whatever you have on your mind.