Autism

This is new to me, but absolutely aligns with something I have struggled with all of my life. People have always thought it was strange how I always seemed so… neutral. It’s not that I didn’t feel anything, I felt emotions very strongly in fact, I just usually couldn’t interpret or express them clearly. The best way I’ve found of explaining it, is this: imagine that emotions are colours, like red is anger, yellow is happiness, blue is sadness, etc. what I feel inside looks like one of those balls of elastic bands with every colour just all twisted around eachother so it’s really hard to tell where one strand begins and ends.

It’s only during moments of more intense emotion that I can notice one of the emotions more prominently. And because I don’t feel it often, it’s harder for me to deal with due to lack of practice.