this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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So when a black person says to me, a white person, "n-word, you crazy" that's okay because they have agency over their word. But if I were to say to an associate "stop being a retard" that's not okay? Do we not get the same free agency over our vocabulary?
First of all, not only am I neurodiverse, I am also physical disabled, so if you think that you have some special power over this argument because of your identity or life experience, you’re totally wrong. You’re not in charge of tone-policing people who are opposing ableism.
The important thing here isn’t who has agency over which words, but whether or not your use of those words is harmful. No white person has ever really been victimised by the n-word, and therefore, they can’t really be hurt by it. Additionally, your example isn’t even what we’d think of as an insult. “You’re crazy” isn’t really a scathing remark unless it’s said in a certain way, and it’s way more often said in a playful or friendly context, like “wow, you’re working so hard, you’re crazy!”
If we cut deeper into what you’re saying (that identity is all that matters and that the n-word is fine to say if you have dark skin) then do you believe it would be acceptable for someone to say to someone else “You’re a horrible, disgusting n-word, go to hell”, for example? Would it matter what colour of skin either person had in that exchange?
Using the r-slur as an insult is harmful because it dehumanises people with disabilities. That’s the important thing, it’s nothing to do with semantics.
That's a lot of words to say "I get to make vocabulary decisions for others. I am right and everyone else is wrong!" Seriously, quit trying to police the words others use. You do not speak for us. You are not an elected representative of the ND community. So shut up. Quit trying to white knight us just cause your feefees got hurt. The moral high ground you think you're on is nothing more than the pile of self-important bullshit you scream orders form the top of. Stop trying to speak for those of us who would really not give a shit either way. People like you are the reason folks treat people like us with kid gloves. You're the reason they think we are wussy little crybabies that will meltdown if someone says the wrong words. You aren't helping anyone.
You started this by making your “gotcha” argument, all I did was explain why your argument doesn’t hold water. Instead of considering that you might have been wrong, instead you lash out in anger because your ego is in danger - and you accuse me of making people think that “we” are “crybabies” who will go into “meltdown”?
Take a deep breath, it’s okay to be wrong about things, I don’t think any less of you for that, and it’s a pretty natural response to become upset by it, made worse by rejection sensitivity, but it’s a really bad habit to fall into - try your best to stay level headed, and that way you can learn things instead of sticking your head in the sand.
But I want to make this very clear: I don’t speak for anyone but myself, and that’s enough - I don’t need your consent or your permission to try and make this world a better place for everyone and I don’t really care if you don’t approve or agree. I don’t care if people think I’m a wussy little sensitive baby, because the world I’m fighting for is an inclusive one, where people can be vulnerable without being worried about whether their masculinity will be called into question. And honestly, I think that’s a far greater strength than pretending it’s fine for people to use an ableist slur because I want to be the cool disabled kid. If you wanna do that, that’s your prerogative, but it’s some weak-ass uncle tom shit.
Yeah, no. You don't speak for us. You don't get to decide what we get to say and when. You're just a sad keyboard warrior who wants to feel like they are morally right. Don't care. I'm not so much of a pussy that I get offended by words that have had meaning long before it was used as a slur. I don't need some pencil dick going around saying "don't say the r-word. He might get offended!" Be offended. It doesn't do anything. It just gets you wound up, posting multi-paragraph responses to an autist that takes joy in trolling people.
There it is. The glorious shrine to your ego. You believe yourself better than others. You don't speak out against ablism because it's the right thing to do, you do it to feed that narcissistic hole in your chest. You want all eyes on you as you profess what is right and wrong. You want to be seen as the god-king of political correctness. Otherwise you'd put your time quietly fighting real situations of ablism, instead of going for the low-hanging fruit that is policing language on an internet forum. But you don't get the recognition and notoriety for that. You want the visible stuff. You want noses planted firmly betwixt your ass cheeks littered with kiss marks. Oh great arbiter of decency, what is thine decree?
Also, you think I'm getting upset, but I'm having a blast! And I'll continue to have a blast so long as you keep trying to defend yourself.
No, I don't at all. As I said elsewhere in this thread, I'm disabled, honestly, I find it hard to even consider myself the equal of others, but that's a problem I just have to deal with, I suppose.
Definitely not, that's actually more like my worst nightmare. I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in, though.
If you think politely asking people to choose a better, more descriptive word instead of using an ableist slur means that someone is acting like a god-king, I wonder what a god-emperor would do...
Using ableist slurs is still ableism and it doesn't take much to oppose it. It took me about 10 seconds to write my argument.
Ah yes, the 'notoriety' of someone whom politely suggests alternatives to using ableist slurs. I'm like a modern day Blackbeard.
You're quite the projectionist, by the way.
Clearly, you're having such a blast. I definitely didn't trigger your emotional dysregulation because you tried to make a "logical" argument that fell apart as soon as anyone so much as looked at it. And you're definitely not trying to overcompensate by acting like you're just "trolling" and lying to yourself that what you're feeling is "fun" and not stress. This is exactly what I used to do, too. Get your ego under control, dude, you're smart and capable, you don't need to respond like this to every perceived slight. Trust me.
Ah, the classic "no u" move. It's not as much fun if you are just going to regurgitate my comments tho.
I do have fun with this. I have been poking the self-important internet bears for several decades now. It's the one time I get to let down my mask and cut loose. It's fun to watch people get all bent out of shape when their word is challenged. Suffice to say, its only the ones blind enough to think they are "morally right" that give the response I like. Either way, you are arguing with a brick wall. I'm a particularly hard-headed 'sperg. I don't feel shame. It's a foreign emotion to me. So I can't feel bad about what I post, nor do i have any attachment to my posts. Hell I don't even care about the argument half the time. I just have my lure out and am waiting for a whiny fish. Thanks for biting tho, it made my afternoon enjoyable!
Glad that you're feeling a bit better! You're such a master manipulator tricking me like that, very naughty :D
Do you have anything nice planned for the weekend?
You learned! Wtg bud. And yes, our local Comic-Con is this weekend. Always a fun time!
Hope you have a good time, try not to spend too much on stuff you don't need :D