this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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[Cheerful music starts. Camera zooms in on a fake-looking living room set. Two actors, JACKIE and DAVE, are seated on a sofa, laughing. They turn toward the camera, holding a cup of coffee.]
JACKIE (excitedly): Oh, Dave! This coffee tastes sooo amazing. What is it?
DAVE (with a wide grin): Well, Jackie, it's not just any coffee! It’s... [holds the coffee jar dramatically up to the camera] WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!
JACKIE (in mock disbelief): WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG, Dave? Really?
DAVE: That's right, Jackie! The strongest and fastest instant coffee on the market!
[Cut to close-up of JACKIE taking a sip of her coffee. Her eyes widen in amazement.]
JACKIE: Mmm, Dave, it's so bold and robust. I've never tasted instant coffee this good before.
DAVE (pointing to the jar): And the best part, Jackie, is that it’s ready in seconds!
[Quick montage of DAVE spooning coffee into a cup, pouring water, and stirring.]
JACKIE: Wow, Dave, that was so fast!
DAVE (nodding): Yes, Jackie! No more waiting around for your morning coffee. With WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG, you get the kick you need instantly!
[Camera pans to a group of bad actors in the background pretending to have a party. They're all holding WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG jars and smiling awkwardly.]
PARTY GUEST #1: Hey, Jackie and Dave, thanks for introducing us to WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!
PARTY GUEST #2: Yes, Jackie! Now my mornings are faster and more energetic, thanks to Dave and you!
JACKIE (winking at the camera): No need to thank us! Just enjoy the robust flavor and instant energy of WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!
DAVE: And, Jackie, did you know that for a limited time, our viewers can get not one, but TWO jars of WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG for the price of one?
JACKIE (gasping): Two for the price of one, Dave? That's unbelievable!
DAVE (pointing at the camera): That's right, folks! Call now, and double your energy for half the price!
[Phone number flashes on the screen with images of the coffee jar.]
JACKIE: Hurry, Dave says it's for a limited time only!
DAVE: So true, Jackie! Don't miss out!
JACKIE & DAVE (together, holding the jar high and smiling too much): WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG – For the strong and speedy you!
[Cheerful music fades. The screen goes black with the phone number and the offer details.]
Narrator (voiceover): Call now. Offer valid while supplies last. Terms and conditions apply.
Now I need to watch that ad. Thanks for putting the time to write that out.