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Union Lets Tom Cruise Act During Strike From Fear Of What He’ll Do When He Can’t Make Movies
(www.theonion.com)
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Who’s the second most bankable celebrity Scientologist? Travolta’s a bit too old, though perhaps we’ll see a rash of prestige-TV roles pushing him as an elder statesman figure. Beyond that, they’d have to make Beck cut a chart-topping EDM album or something, or else start recruiting YouTube influencers to have a chance with the next generation.