this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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The constant barrage of stories like this is part of the reason I have no interest in forging a romantic relationship with anyone. Stories like this make it sound like it fucking sucks and will drag you down. I know they aren't really the norm, but damn they're fuckin' everywhere. Why would I willingly subject myself to that kind of treatment? 'cause he/she/they are hot? Bitch, control your fucking dick/vagina, it's not that hard.
Edit: to clarify, this post is engaging in some light hyperbole. It's not the only reason I have no interest in a relationship, and I know there are plenty of healthy, loving relationships out there; however, the fact that people keep entering into toxic relationships and then seemingly try to pretend that relationships are just like that is mind-blowing to me.
Why would you indeed? That's not a requirement for a relationship.
I know, but the toxic:not-toxic relationship story ratio sure tries to make it seem that way. It's like the modern equivalent of the boomer "wife bad" meme.
Probably because the stories of "my SO is awesome and we both try to make each other happy" isn't the type of content that gets engagement on the internet.
Nobody really cares if you're happy on the internet, but everyone loves saucy drama.
Also, not to burst any bubbles or anything - but stories on the internet are sometimes lies.
I know I know, big if true. But people want to be entertained and feel something. So stories of toxic relationships and infidelity gain a ton of traction, often because it let's people look down on others to feel superior.
Relationships are hanging out with your best friend as you build a life together. Don't let internet stories make you think that's uncommon or not possible!
Waow, people go on the internet and tell lies? Noooo, how can that be?
Tbf it's not the only reason I'm not really interested in a relationship. I have enough problems in my life right now, I really don't need to add a potentially toxic relationship to the pile. Sure, if it's a loving, caring relationship then it might help solve a lot of my issues. However, if it's toxic, then it's gonna make a lot of them worse. It's just that seeing stories about "my wife hates my video games", "my girlfriend is addicted to tiktok", "my boyfriend won't stop working out" etc makes me less interested than I already am.
Nobody's writing reddit/lemmy essays about how great their life is, these topics are skewed toward people venting and ranting. My wife is great and has zero problems with how much I game, and I have no problems with how much she crochets or watches YouTube or watches TikToks or plays Powerwash Simulator. The only thing she's ever gotten upset about was me spending time on my phone instead of talking when we were out at restaurants, which is perfectly reasonable. She understands my compulsion to pick up and play new games, because it's the same thing for her with books on and off of her Kindle.
But even before I nuked my decade-old reddit account, you'd never find me posting about it except in comment sections like this where it was relevant, and we've been together a better part of that account's existence. I don't need advice or to express my love to anyone but her, because we're happy with each other and willing to talk to one another when we're having problems.
Its sort of like survivorship bias. People with toxic relationships need to talk more about it and feel the need to post more/comment more asking for help or vent about there bad situation.
Reality is there are more good relationships that people dont feel the need to post or talk about as there isn't much to say beyond 'my partner loves me and respects my interests'.
To be fair, thats just partially because toxic stories are more interesting. Like, me and my wife have a not-toxic relationship, she never gives me shit about playing videogames even if I spend a whole day gaming, but that just isnt as good of a story to read lmao so I dont bother telling it online, except in this exact moment