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If you want to switch specifically for free software, make sure that the phone you're buying is bootloader-unlockable. The Pixel phones (not from a carrier, but unlocked) are good options.
If not, you will simply be locked into Google's ecosystem (along with whatever OEM, such as Samsung's), which isn't much better than Apple's.
As for ROMs, I'd recommend either GrapheneOS or DivestOS. Both are free of all Google services by default, and are as FOSS as Android allows for in the modern age.
To deregister iMessage, visit this site: https://selfsolve.apple.com/deregister-imessage/
In the future, I'd look into Linux phones, but as of right now, they are not usable for daily driving IMO. You can also test Linux mobile on most modern Android phones using Halium with a distro like Droidian.
Also check out privacyguides.org for alternatives to proprietary apps/services.
This is indeed my main reason for a switch, so thanks for the recommendations! I really want to try a Linux phone when it’s ready with either phosh or gnome shell mobile (I love libadwaita), but it’s just not there yet for me.
I would definitely recommend trying Droidian (Mobian for Halium) and UBPorts (although UBPorts is less traditional Linux, as it uses Snaps and has an immutable filesystem by default).
Manjaro is also available, but I don't recommend Manjaro in general due to untimely security updates.
You can use Waydroid as an Android compatibility layer.