"Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect" by Jonice Webb
"Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" by Lindsay C Gibson

The first one is specifically about how neglect can manifest itself. If you find your parents love you but you still feel empty or devoid of their affection, this might be useful. Especially good to read when you don't buy the "depression is just genetic and it just happens to some people" narrative.

The second one is more general about different types of connection and bonding. Very useful to understand where your parents might come from and why they behave(d) like they do/did. Also helps stem the tide against the current internet's "everyone with bad behaviour is a narcissist " theme

[–] kamenoko@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

I'll add The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller which is a very short but powerful book that was the first to really advocate for children of abusive parents. It will also give you some tools to evaluate psychologists and make sure they aren't using you for their unmet emotional needs.

[–] Haui@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 year ago

This is amazing. Thank you.

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Which book do you recommend if my parents loved me but didn't know how to deal with a gay son? Or they love th parts that didn't involve my sexuality and neglected everything else.

[–] AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Let me know if you figure it out. My parents didn't disown me when I came out as trans, but it probably would have been simpler if they had.

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Sorry to hear that. Im sending you a virtual hug. Hope we can overcome it one day :)