this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Mildly Infuriating
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You're right, your contract is with the business. If you don't want a separate transaction for your server, then just be honest about it.
I do assume you are being honest, and telling your server at the beginning of the meal that you don't tip, right? Surely you're not waiting until after they've given you the customary service to withhold the customary payment, right? That would certainly be shameful indeed, and undercut your desire for them to receive thriving pay for honest work.
Then there's no harm in revealing that fact ahead of time. Just let them know not to expect a tip and enjoy your meal shame-free.
I can tell you, as I'm sure you know, that tipping is expected, even if it isn't legally enforced. If you truly believe in honest pay for honest work, then be honest about the fact that you will not be subsidizing their pay and relieve them of that conventional expectation. If you're being honest with yourself, you should have no problem with that, right?
That's exactly what I said, though: if you don't want to tip, don't go to a table service restaurant. There are plenty of restaurants where tipping is not expected, feel free to go there and not give a shit. Most restaurants offer take out now too, so you can still eat your favorite meals.
You are contorting yourself to justify the discount you give yourself at the expense of the person waiting on you. You are taking advantage of the fact that tipping happens after service, and that it's not legally enforced, to lavish in the benefits of a personal slave without paying them for the pleasure.
You know very well that tips are expected, and know very well that the quality of the service you receive reflects that fact, and know very well that if you were honest up front about your beliefs on the practice, that the service you received would not be up to the quality you feel entitled to. Rather than upon the unpleasant implications thereof, or accept service in line with the compensation you provide (instead of the "personal slave" you've become so accustomed to), you've decided to remain entitled.
You know very well that you're exploiting some poor worker via unspoken convention, and yes you should be very, very ashamed.
Non-table service tipping is optional. Toss your change in or throw a couple bucks if you're feeling generous. Those workers aren't considered tipped, legally speaking, and they don't make less than minimum wage. That's a pitiful equivocation.
Tell your server when you sit down that you don't tip, or accept that you're a shameful, entitled little bilker. Stop your bloviating about "it's the business owner's responsibility!" and admit that you just a want a little slice of the exploitation for your own wallet.
Seems like you're being deliberately dense, simply to maintain your held opinion. The restaurant owner SHOULD be responsible for employee wages, but they're not... hence the entire issue with the US tipping system. And no amount of mental gymnastics will change the fact that you're incentivizing the owners to never change, by holding fast to your opinion