Was having this conversation with some new friends earlier and was curious. When did you guys figure out your sexuality/identity or whatever? Was there a person that helped you or a particular moment or event?

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[–] DarbyDear@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I really resonate with the first portion of your comment. That is to say, my journey to bisexuality was basically the same: I never had a "eureka" moment, more of a "oh, I finally managed to loosen the shackles of the homophobia I was raised with thanks to exposure, and now there seem to be feelings that I should figure out." I guess if I had to pick one specific moment as a pivot point, it was when I told a guy that offered me his number that I was already in a happy relationship rather than I wasn't gay. Even before that point though, I already had stuff rattling around in my subconscious (working at a gas station across the street from a gay bar will lead to a lot of subconscious questioning of prior assumptions).

Nowadays, I'm perfectly secure saying that I'm some flavor of bisexual. I hesitate to try pinning it down more since it's such an amorphous thing for me (kind of like your relationship with gender), and because of the previously-mentioned relationship (19 years at this point and going strong), I don't really feel any need or desire to do any "hands-on" exploration. I would say that's the benefit of not having a single "this is it" moment for when I "realized my true self" though: Having a flexible view on my romantic/sexual/gender identity means I can just live being the person I am. It can make things difficult if people insist on labels for things when I don't quite know how to label myself, but I just use whatever is closest for me and it works out alright.