Looking for a passionate, motivated team member to be part of a newly refreshed team created to replace an unsuccessful team (RIP) promoting our incredibly competitive product!

You must have at least 40 years experience working with Windows 11.
GENEROUS remuneration package!*
You need to be able to work 26 hours a day 9 days per week.
You will need to bring PASSION! ENTHUSIASM! EXCITEMENT! [synonym not found]!, and GRIT!

*as we are a small start up, we can't afford to pay wages, but when we are successful, we promise to write your name somewhere on an archived version of our website.

[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

When a team of programmers is left to their own devices, they too screw shit up. They all do things in their own way and argue over what is best, and often fail to see the bigger picture.

I watch scope creep and lack of organizational planning from both programmers and managers. It's all personality issues.

I also don't believe anyone actually follows or knows what agile is (not saying I do either). Everyone on every team at every place sure talks about it, but it doesn't seem like anyone actually does it. These are all just labels for "we adapted as we went."

[–] spacecadet@lemm.ee 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Found the PM/TPM. The best software was written without Agile and PMs/TPMs. It’s only after software becomes successful that the need is felt for that stuff.

The world runs on open source software and I don’t know of a single open source project that uses Agile or PMs/TPMs.

[–] wpb@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (4 children)

What's agile?

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[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in this Excel spreadsheet on Teams. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Azure DevOps. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Smartsheet. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in ServiceNow Virtual Taskboard. Be sure to update it regularly…”

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[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They don't know there are 20 other life and death situations that came before them. GET. IN. LINE.

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[–] ElectroLisa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not a movie but I feel like Mr Robot had somewhat accurate scenes

[–] Jyek@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And silicon valley

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[–] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

I absolutely hate project managers. In my almost decade of IT work, every PM I've ever dealt with was garbage. They have no idea what is going on, and then ask an ass load of questions at the end of the meeting about things that were already covered. Useless.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Some people like happy movies, some like action movies or horror movies even!

I like frustrating movies.

[–] Squibbles@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think the Pentagon Wars is about as close as it gets for now. Not about programming of course but all about company bureaucracy and feature creep

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0144550/

[–] fishos@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's definitely satire, but I feel Silicon Valley did a decent job. Yes they absolutely made things up, but it was more about the backend and pushing updates and servers being erased because someone accidentally sat a drink on a keyboard.

[–] Squibbles@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In an interview about silicon valley the creators said they interviewed a lot of people in the industry and had to actually cut out a bunch of stuff because it wouldn't be believable by people outside the industry. One small example was the valuation. The VC people they talked to said pied piper would have gotten a lot more money than what ended up being in the show

[–] fishos@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, you can definitely tell the show was filtered through the lense of "what will the average person understand". I just appreciated the focus on actually building something vs just seeing the business side of it.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So like the first few seasons of silicon valley?

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Have you seen Anti-Trust?

[–] Corbin@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago

I was going to bring this one up. The least realistic part of Antitrust is how the antagonist is defeated, but the parts where somebody is impatiently waiting for javac to finish so that they can pack their .class files into a JAR, or typing in a list of IPv4 addresses one-by-one to see which one works, were painfully plausible.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Reminds me of this one

https://youtube.com/watch?v=synJZAtH58E

when you rob a big tech company, but the employees are...

(that's the title of the video, the clickbait isn't me)

[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

https://youtu.be/M1D2zTJhIss

That's the one for me, from Spider-Man no way home. Keep adding more stuff to a complex working until reality itself breaks.

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