this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

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[–] poleslav@lemmy.world 33 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Saw the news on their YouTube. Looked it up thinking it was satire and sure as shit it’s not. Probably the fastest I’ve ever purchased merch ever. Gonna love wearing my onion shirt, always loved them but this was the point I needed to send them some money because this is hilarious.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 8 hours ago

They need new merch with the infowars logo almost the same but with an onion dotting the i

[–] ggppjj@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

They just brought back print and it's been very satisfying for me so far.

[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I’m glad you mentioned this, I just signed up for a year of print

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[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 61 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

I genuinely don't know how they plan to make a parody of InfoWars that will not be indistinguishable from the original thing.

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

The funniest thing to do would be to turn it into either a legitimate leftist new site or a leftist themed nujob conspiracy mill (though I don't know how that would work).

[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 16 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

leftist themed nujob conspiracy mill

The Republican party is ripe for conspiracy theory targets.

Epstein had close ties with Trump and his attorney general Bill Barr (whose father hired Epstein to teach at a prestigious private high school without a college degree, where he was known for ogling the high school girls and showing up to parties where underage drinking was happening). The waitresses and hostesses at Trump's Mar a Lago were also regularly recruited to work at Epstein's island. Alex Acosta, the federal prosecutor who agreed to a secret plea deal where Epstein served a slap on the wrist in a local jail instead of real prison was later elevated to Trump's cabinet, as Labor Secretary.

Now, Trump has named another child sex trafficker as his nominee for Attorney General.

There are suspicious ties between the Saudi royal family and key members in Trump's orbit, including his son in law Jared Kushner. Elon Musk has been doing sketchy shit with the Saudis and the Russians, as well. Basically everyone in Trump's circle, including his nominee to be the director of national intelligence, has shady ties with foreign adversaries.

There's lots of other little things about financial profiteering by the Trump folks: an SBA COVID bailout that went to huge businesses, a move to privatize or sabotage the public postal service and the weather service to help the private competition, arbitrary or politically motivated regulations to help certain businesses while hurting others, etc.

I mean, it really wouldn't be hard.

The hard part would be doing it in a way that pulls in the kind of people who listened to Alex Jones.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 3 points 9 hours ago

Yes but slowly and using language they're familiar with. Lure them into it

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[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 27 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

They’re very, very good at it

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[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 52 points 14 hours ago

very funny, very stupid

Well, their work is half done already!

[–] crystalmerchant@lemmy.world 11 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Can't wait for Dan and Jordan to cover this

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[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Next week's headlines "Alex Jones appointed as Secretary of State" or some other wackass shit.

Press secretary would be perfect.

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago

Oh my god what a power move. More power to them, seriously. Best outcome we could have gotten

[–] noodlejetski@lemm.ee 50 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

truly the wildest of timelines

[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

Make reality boring again

[–] wertyuiop@feddit.rocks 6 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

THEY TURNED THE FREAKIN FROG GAY!!!!!!!

ITS NOT FUNNY!!!

[–] overload@sopuli.xyz 26 points 14 hours ago

Finally some good news!

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

They should run it like it was. Then in about a year, just subtly start changing the context. Then before you know it, they are going to start supporting progressive topics.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

This just made my day

[–] AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io 16 points 14 hours ago

Listen, I keep saying that reality is better satire than satire, BUT COME ON!

[–] Bassman1805@lemmy.world 13 points 13 hours ago

Best news I've seen in weeks

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