Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
IT support, on the other hand, is more akin to exorcism. In a shaking voice the terrified user describes all the classic signs of a possessed computer, yet when you enter their cubicle and ask them to show you the polterbug, it has already fled in terror and the computer is working flawlessly again. You perform the ritual of reboot anyway, just to be sure.
So that's why the old unix programmers call their program a daemon
The common loop variable i looks quite a lot like a candle, wouldn't you say?
one time I was writing some absolute banger code and wanted some pleasing smells. So I lit and candle and POOF fucking Belphegor suddenly appeared before me.
Isn't Belphegor the king of sloth? That would actually be super relevant for developers.
Belphegor: "Hey guy, you've been spending all afternoon trying to implement this feature, but there's a super niche framework that gets you 80% there. Here's the github for it."
Programmer: "Holy shit I was looking for something exactly like this, how did you find it!?"
Belphegor: "Demon"
Programmer: "Right"
I had a thought about this recently. For all we know, wishing for things works, it's just that nobody's ever made a wish specific enough to compile.
I shit you not, I usually light a scented candle when working remotely (because opening the window for non-smelly air would also cause light emission and increase the risk of interaction with people, you know).
Hacker folklore that pays homage to ‘wizards’ and speaks of incantations and demons has too much psychological truthfulness about it to be entirely a joke.
—The Jargon File (version 4.4.7)
Why do you think the most senior people, the ones who carved business logic out of raw Perl with their bare hands and a text editor, have beards?
I carved business logic out of the Ant build language in my previous (and first) job. It was a long and disgusting challenge driven by a technical lead who had made technical and process decisions that I find pretty questionable. He also wasn't using a ticket tracker, then blamed it on me when my ADHD brain had trouble keeping track of verbally assigned tasks. Unfortunately I didn't have the background or heft yet to tell him to get off my back until we had a proper ticket tracker.
Oaths? Do you mean oauth?
"Computers are like old testament gods - lots of rules and no mercy"
Can't remember who said it. I just (approximately) know the quote from Civ5.
demons are computers... it all makes sense now...
Not understanding the true power you wield or the consequences of your actions
Sibling, I make CRUD apps with React and Python. I don't think it's that dramatic lmao
Do you understand the functioning of both interpreters, down to the CPU instructions? How the database you're using performs those updates, or quickly finds your items? The precise function of the virtual DOM? TLS handshake protocol? If so, good on you, but you don't need to know more than the surface level of any of these for a CRUD app. But these and other systems you use hold the raw power, and wielding them poorly could lead to bugs, or security or performance issues.
On the other side, whatever you do may seem mundane to you, but lighting a fire would seem mundane to a sorcerer the umpteenth time they've done so. A simple CRUD app could seem dramatic if you have no idea where you'd even start building one, which is the state the majority of people are in.
lol while scrolling I sometimes forget to upvote so I upvoted and commenting
You don't program by candle light? Everyone I know does, especially for low level programming, it takes twice the candles.
I feel like I am crazy for just enjoying coding. I don't troubleshoot, I think about the ways the code works. The problem itself can be confusing, but alas, I don't speak in a professional capacity.
I used to code on the side for fun more. Now the side project is less alluring. Most of that is that I more or less enjoy my on-the-job software development, so I would rather spend my free time doing something else. Before was either college or a job that sucked the joy out of coding. Both left me with a hankering for exploration.