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Yes, totally. There is a real sense of hostility on most subs. (Larger ones anyway) It's so hostile I'd always think twice about speaking my mind about anything. Like going back to high school or something.

I was amazed how many times on Reddit I had hostile comments in response, repeatedly to a comment that was days old. It's like there were people just trolling around looking for a comment to attack, and once they did it was relentless. I'm so glad I was able to quit Reddit entirely. It was a toxic environment.

I got downvoted to oblivion for providing the same (right) answer to a what is that song question as someone else. We posted at the same time but people saw the other one first and downvoted mine. Like my answer wasn't even wrong or unhelpful why the downvotes lol

I live in a poorish country and I'm not flush with cash either currently not being employed except some volunteering. I wanted to build a network server for a charity who were struggling with their internal services.

Over a period of six months I cobble together enough to buy a second hand mini PC. I couldn't get a network card similarly because of shortages, so someone buys one from ebay US and brings it after a few months.

For some mystery reason, the card refuses to work with the PC. It's detected but as soon as I push some traffic it results in a kernel panic. I spend a month looking at similar problems online and trying out different solutions. With no dice, I post on Reddit.

On the my first two tires, I get no replies and no one notices it because it doesn't get any upvotes. Then I try another two subreddits and people just say that CPU/NIC sucks, just get another one.

This whole thing pretty much put me off from posting on Reddit after that.

I always have had this experience. I posted a silly mess up I had with my 3D printer once and all the comments were focused on the fact that I had a printer that wasn’t part of the circlejerk of “best printers according to the subreddit”.

I got called a dumbass and there was a comment chain where 2 people pondered about just how stupid I would have to be to buy the printer I have now.

Not a single comment referring to my actual post, just all jumping down my throat because I dare not buy the Ender 3.

First off, OP, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Hostile responses hurt, particularly when you're just trying to help. I hope this doesn't stop you from sharing ideas in the future. We need more people willing to share ideas so we can have good thought diversity.

That being said, I don't think this is a good reason to leave Reddit or hate Reddit.

I know a lot of us are really highly charged right now and the Reddit hate is strong. We got burned by something that was a major part of our lives for many years. But the toxicity of the participants is not exactly a Reddit thing. This is an internet thing. You are not getting away from that here.

I have had similar experiences as OP on Reddit and I'm also seeing similar behaviors on Lemmy as well, particularly now that it is growing faster.

Lemmy and federated services in general do not automatically mean that the community is nicer or are more respectful. That is not the problem these services try to solve. They solve issues of ownership and centralization. Even communities like Beehaw aren't free from this either. I've seen some pretty toxic behavior, even on Beehaw. They can't escape that. But what they can do is set a standard for expected behaviors and then moderate the community as best they can. This doesn't eliminate the problem, but at least it sets a stage where we can play, and call out when someone crosses the line.

So let's not kid ourselves. When people from different backgrounds, views, and intents come together with the capability of being anonymous and behind a screen, the bad actors WILL come and join the fray. That's just part of internet connected life.