Gaming

Folks born in the 70s may have more feelings about video games being kid stoys than younger ones, but they probably also have really backwards ideas about, I don't know, fun in general? And that's probably signalling that there's some kind of fundamental personality mismatch or some unwelcomed views on masculinity and gender dynamics.

It might be a little harder to meet people, but it's worth sorting through the mismatches in order to find a compatible partner, even if it gets discouraging sometimes.

For what it's worth, I'm 40, and I not only still play video games, I still play the video games I loved when I was 5, and watch the cartoons that I loved when I was 10. My wife's not big into video games, but she definitely doesn't judge people for their preferred forms of entertainment.

Stealing my old comment from the place that shall not be named in response to a similar question asked there by someone in a comparable situation to share here due to relevancy - A person had replied to the OP question declaring that "women didn't respect men's hobbies" so I said :

Perhaps there is a more useful way to frame things…

How about instead :

“It’s somewhat common for people with some level of disfunction within their intimate relationships to be okay living their entire lives with a partner essentially dictating what is ‘acceptable’ in their lives together in such a way that is uncompromising for said other partner - who then feels like they are not deserving of the things that make them happy. This is unhealthy as it builds resentment and encourages dishonesty and ‘going around’ set boundaries only really agreed upon by one party.”

The takeaway should not be : “Women have no respect for men’s hobbies.”

There are plenty of women who love games, and plenty of men who don’t.

The takeaway should be : “Partners in an intimate relationship should have enough love and respect for one another that they can truly find middle ground with issues they disagree on - while at the same time trying to better empathize, communicate, and enrich each others’ lives. If you and your partner disagree on where gaming should be as an aspect of your personal hobbies and interests, a reasonable compromise should be discussed.”

I am a guy at the same age. My spouse doesn’t really game much… but we have our video games in the living room, as that allows me to enjoy our home theater setup for single player type and online multiplayer gaming between my fellow parent gamers and myself, while also allowing us as a family to play certain games like Mario Kart and Castle Crashers together across seating that is comfortable and roomy.

My partner loves me and wants me to be happy. And I want them to be happy. If you aren’t happy with the arrangement currently set… talk about it. If they can’t meet you in the middle… then decide if it’s worth it to continue discussing it or not and go forward.

Really that’s a foundational aspect of healthy relationships… communication, respect, and a hope that you help make the other happy and feel supported.

A relationship without that foundation will likely eventually fail.

∞

200; It's pretty hard to play if you're dead

Anyone who thinks differently is not for you. People can do almost whatever they want for fun, as long as it's legal. Labeling someone childish because they like something is stupid; what am I going to do, drink all day, go to bars, hike, travel, play sports, do n'th paid activity, etc? Some people have the time, money or health that allows or disallows them to do these things, and some people do or don't have the interest. Tons of people enjoy watching tv shows. Are we supposed to grow out of that too? By that logic, we shouldn't enjoy anything we did as kids and just do things only relegated to adults.

Id say most people regardless of when they were born think like this unless they themselves play games. It's more socially acceptable amongst the younger generation right now (e.g. college graduates) and probably because they're still considered young. Kids have more free time than adults and the barrier to entry for them is low. Parents often see their kids playing games and in genral have a negative attitude towards them for consuming time. Id say as people go into their 30s and 40s its considered less acceptable because societal expectations are that people will work and get married and have kids by then, and they'd have less time for solo activities. Going to the bar while having young kids or other activities is less acceptable. As kids get older their parents have more time for fun, but playing games is seen as childish because they either see their kids playing or because its something from their own childhood and other ventures that cost money like travel are now available to them when they werent as kids

I hope not. I'm almost 50. But I'm not in the dating pool. I feel for anyone trying to date at our age. Better to be who you are though.

While I do think there's probably more younger people across the spectrum playing games than older folk, I still think you can find the person you're looking for. It's definitely become more socially acceptable I think for younger generations it's just become a more normal thing integrated into social life. Oh we can't go out? I'm down for some Minecraft or Animal Crossing, etc. I've known lots of women over the years that were "cool" and "attractive" but were heavy into video games. Older folk in general skew towards thinking they are damaging or juvenile. We had recently pitched a club at my library district, but once it reached the older board people, they didn't understand why one would even pose the idea in such an "institution," totally missing why gaming can be an incredibly nourishing hobby for everyone in some form. But yeah, even at my job I tend to find most older women roll their eyes at the thought of video games (I work with mostly middle aged women 40-60 with a few younger aged folk sprinkled in there). Games as a hobby has become more progressive aiming for all sorts of people, Fortnite, Roblox, Minecraft, etc. have all broken down a lot of walls for younger generations. Obviously misogyny is gonna still exist thanks to how early gaming marketing skewed perspective of video games as well as shooters and their tone being heavily ostracizing to women. Games like Fortnite let you gun down Goku as Ariana Grande, and shit like that does go a long ways to reaching different people.

Also things like the Last of Us have done lots to away perception away from games being overtly masculine and edgy, to telling serious stories with mature/complex themes. The fact that show got a HBO series that reached many "non gamers" is huge. Whether or not you think it's good for the overall health of what games are is a different topic, but I think there is such massive spectrum now from mobile, to indie, to AAA, to community run live service games, etc. that nowadays there's an ocean of people who don't have a weird perception of gaming like the 90's and early 2000s and that will continue to change and get better as generations progress.

Sorry if this feels a bit off topic, wasn't super related to dating. As others have said, it's good to have hobby diversity, if your one and only deep interest is video games as a grown ass adult, women will be skeptical. Especially if they're seeking a partner for life. Being able to cook, clean, talk about different things, engage with different hobbies in general gives you more appeal to a wider pool of people. There's a reason why the typical "gamer" has a non date able perception, and that's because they wear as a badge for their entire identity. It's the nerd equivalent of being a truck dude who rocks Ford as the face of their identity.

My dad is 59 and besides being the one that got me gaming in the first place, he still plays to this day. He is naturally not really into very competitive skill based games (esports) but MMOs or ARPGs and the like he loves those.

I built my first computer with him when I was 5. And today I'm working in an IT field, largely because of him.

He first got me started with Diablo. I've played DII with him, DIII too. DIV he said it's very expensive for now and he'll wait for a discount or something, but I did buy it. He also plays a lot of Guild Wars 2, WoW and some titan quest among other rpgs. He also plays on his phone Diablo Immortal and some other crappy time wasting games 🤷‍♂️

53 here, not playing online multiplayer anymore (frustrated with being unable to compete at the same level due to work stress, and time commitments in general), but I do have 4 digit hours of Civilization. Thinking back, almost 20 years ago I got anti-gaming vibes from my peer group. Fuck 'em, do what you want.

Feels like up to 15-17 is normal for everyone, up to around 27 is a bit weird but ok. Above 30 people will see it as a red flag.

Not anywhere near your age, but I believe that you honestly don't need to pay attention to any kind of "cutoff" age for video games. At your age, people don't really get to dictate how interesting your hobbies are to you, you're an adult with children, and your interests are your own. If playing games is a dealbreaker for women, then it's really just the tip of the iceberg of problems a relationship with her might have. There is no cutoff for liking the things you like, and if people aren't adult enough to see that, you can move on from them.

I don't think there's an age cut off, I just think you got into the hobby when it was niche and your peers didn't. I'm an NES-generation video game player and I don't really know anyone my age who doesn't at least have a gamer in their household. On the other end, I don't know a single person who has a cable subscription.

I'm 50. I've been gaming since my Dad won a Pong console at a work thing. I still love gaming, and so do a lot of other older men. Hell, the discussion at the lunch table at work today was about all the shit people are doing in Zelda. This was a group of 4 guys, all well over 30 (except one guy who just turned 30), all very successful..

I did work for a company who ran various care homes across the country. Some for people with ill health, some just for old age. The changes care homes were having to adapt to was interesting. Not only more openly gay relationships, various different religions, etc... But also a vastly different array of hobbies, and that for some included gaming. This meant care homes having to upgrade internet/wifi, and many other adaptions. Some used handheld games machines, or mobile phones. A couple had PCs. I don't recall seeing any Mac's. A few had games machines. One elderly lady adored her original Gameboy. So it does take all sorts.

Now I'm the same age as you, so I can recall growing up and 99% of girls at school just switched off at talk of the latest game for the Spectrum 48k. We would get called geek, and other names. To a point, the stereotype will stick with some people as they grow up. But I find many, regardless of gender, do or will play games. Even if it's some form of Snake of their phone. Or maybe board games. It's all about having fun, pure and simple. Maybe they have fun in other ways. Maybe you're not compatible? I have always had the rules that a future partner would need to enjoy games at some level, mobile phone, board games, card games, etc... Have to own books and read. Have a love of music. Beyond that, it's negotiable.

So an age limit on games, nah!