this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
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I agree with your points. Though for me a big difference has been friends I made before ~25 and friends after 25. There is no way I would want to live anywhere near friends I made before that age. Being in my early thirties, who knows how I'll feel 10 years down the line. Doing this communal living is a big commitment which might be hard to get out of.
Same! Pre / post uni friends is the rough line for me. I have one friend from school still, a few from uni but the rest is more recent than that.
Still, I'd argue (re the previous post but my reply fit better here) that even the "nostalgia friends" aren't any different from birth family.
Family just comes with more inherent guilt to uphold the nostalgia lol
I hear that. But my wife and I regularly debate about the role of family. I don't know if it's more American culture to view family as more "disposable", e.g. they can be cut-off if toxic, etc. Being originally an (eastern) European, my mentality is that family (or blood-bonds to be dramatic) are always more serious than friends. To that end, I always thought having a large villa with multiple wings for multi-generational housing would be more appealing. My mother and wife (stereotype much?) don't get along, so maybe a challenging proposition...
American culture is changing. It used to be that family bonds were the tightest, and we had generational housing, but that started going away during the great depression when a lot of family farms shut down and people lost the house they'd been in for generations. We also don't like to talk about the amount of generational trauma that came from both the world wars, and that was another nail in the coffin of family life. The most recent blow has been the economy, where both parents need to work and don't have the time to build the bonds with their children that are needed for a tight-knit family unit.
Good arguments in this thread! Cheers