Chat

I'm into week 7 of this new job. It's moving by really quick, which is a plus. But I'm having doubts.

It's way more chaotic and unstructured than I expected it to be. Which is weird because, aside from a quick 3mo stint at one place, the rest of my ~19yr professional career has been in small businesses that were often chaotic and unstructured! At my last job, where I did a total of ~17yrs over two separate stints, I was the only IT guy; I was constantly winging it and figuring things out. I practically had no training, supervision, nor oversight when it came to making things work.

I guess I expected that, since this new job is an enterprise-level place, the technical environment I'd be in would be enterprise-level. But it's not. It feels like a small business again. But somehow worse. Just today I was in my first meeting with the supposed networking group, and one guy was going through the laundry list of issues. One being that there are numerous people outside of this team who have the same powers and permissions as this team! And this issue, among others, seems to exist in multiple related areas, including those that I'm supposed to be managing. And there's no one to say "Stop that!"

Plus, I was hoping I'd be able to get trained in some of this. There's a lot of stuff here that I've never touched before. Unfortunately, my role is essentially brand new and the group I'm supposed to be working with and sorta helping to lead was literally created two weeks ago. Along with my practically my own job! No joke, I nor my employers knew what exactly my job was until two weeks ago. Plus, I didn't even think I would be leading in any fashion. I feel like I'm just getting tossed in and being told to figure it out, which is not at all what I expected or wanted.

On the other hand, I wonder if what I'm feeling is just because I'm new. I've only been new to a job three times over the 19yrs. So I'm not used to not knowing about things and not being the "expert." Which is uncomfortable. And when I feel uncomfortable, my default action is to run away.

I don't hate this job. And nearly everyone I've worked with or interacted with so far has been friendly and helpful. When I have questions, they answer to the best of their ability. So it's not like I'm truly in a sink or swim position. Plus, given how things are run here, I don't think there's strong pressure from above to quickly take action to clean things up. Those above also recognize that this whole division or whatever we are is a WIP. Supposedly, my whole team doesn't even officially exist, lol.

Obviously time will tell, and of course, I don't have to stay here forever. But I've definitely been on the lookout. I know these days it's normal to always be looking for the next opportunity. I also can't quit without having something else lined up either, as I just moved across the country, spent a shitload of money to do that, and still have a year on my lease. So quitting without a new job would be very, very, very bad.

I think I just have to take it day by day, week by week, month by month. My goal is to get to 1yr.

Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. And by Friday, it'll be 8 weeks. Only more 10 months to go.