No Stupid Questions

LMAO. I did have some fun making this one up. Like any good but fiction it's a mixture of facts and fabrications to make it believable.

Well...spit... growing up on the ranch we had between 13 to 18 horses around all the time. Everything from Arabians to some workhorses.

100% true. I even sent a nice loogie to get into character.

Now we only shoed them in late summer for the fall when we were working cattle.

Partially true - we shoed them in late summer as it was our pack train for guided hunts etc. we only used the 3 quarter horses to work cattle with. Those we kept shoed year round.

Now swimming is an interesting topic. During the hot days in the summer we would hop on a few hoses bareback and race across in the ponds.

Fabrication. The ponds were all spring fed and came out of the ground at 40F. The ponds held a 50F temperature all summer. Nobody swam in them other than a few dares. We did stock them with trout.

You would think the massive workhorses with their oversized hooves would win. Poweful, strong animals with big flippers on the bottom. Unfortunately they were the slowest in the water. They were stiff and inflexible, dumb and slow. They tended to swim a few feet, decide it was too much work, turn around and find some nice grass to eat.

This is one of my better fabrications. I used the personality of the Belgium's we had. They were slow and powerful and always eating. However I never once saw them swim. We used them for trail clearing and pack horses in the woods.

Now the Arabians with the smaller stature and dainty little hooves were by far the fastest in the water. The fastest was horse named ugly. He was a swayed back ill tempered little guy with a massive chip on his shoulder. He just had to be first everywhere. He was almost as vicious as the Spawn of Satan aka "Shetland pony". Now Spawn of Satan didn't like the water because brimstone and water don't go together so we never got him to swim.

Mix of fabrication and truth. Ugly was an smaller appaloosa whose name started out as chief. So we called him Chief Ugly then just Ugly. The Spawn of Satan was really called "Cookie" but if you know anything ponies the Spawn of Satan is more apt.

What's curious is after they were shod and their hoofs trimmed down, they all seemed a wee bit faster. I guess the smaller hoof works better for their swimming mechanism.

Total bullshit. I have no idea what makes a horse swim faster or not.