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Making close friends as an adult (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by emeraldheart@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

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Hi everyone! I'm in my late 20s and I've been reminiscing on my young adult life and what I like/don't like. One point that has been coming up for me is close, vulnerable friendships. I used to have a few friends who I was very close to a few years ago, who I could talk to about deep life stuff, big emotions, vulnerable feelings and worries, and also just enjoy time together discussing silly/serious media or the world.

I have since lost these friends, one way or another. Some simply drifted, some left in a flurry of drama and hurt feelings. I thankfully kept some friends, but a lot of them have been lost.

Despite the volatility of those friendships, there was something I was getting from them that I really needed and still need. I think that need is simply the human desire for close companionship. I have a partner, and he's wonderful; he's not particularly feel-y however, and my friends aren't either. I think I need more emotionally-vulnerable people.

My question is this... How does one make these friends as an adult? In fact, how does one make any friends as an adult? I'm finding myself not knowing how to proceed and find other emotional folk. Any advice would be appreciated. <3

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[–] tj111@lemmy.fmhy.ml 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It's hard. People tend to settle into their routines and go through the motions of they're life - people are no longer thrust into new stages of life together (high school / college / start of career). That being said, people still make time for their hobbies, and are typically very excited to meet other people who share the same interests and hobbies as them. Find a hobby or activity that you like, or think you might like, and find some local groups that do that thing. Could be hiking, gardening, sewing, rock climbing, whatever! Just find a local group of people and give it a shot. Friendships can happen naturally from that. Some will be more acquaintances, but as you get to meet more people it becomes more likely that some of them will stand out as true friends.

[–] emeraldheart@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've been learning German. Maybe I'll look to see if there are any local groups for German-learners! If not, maybe I'll make one!

[–] papaya_punch@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Meetup.com hat oft Sprachtandem Meetups. Je nachdem wo du wohnst kann es sein, dass in deiner Nähe eine solche Gruppe existiert. Viel Glück!

[–] BlueDiamond@rammy.site 4 points 1 year ago

I've been learning German on Duolingo for over a year now (shout out to my 430 day streak) and i could actually get the gist of what you said without having to Google translate. Woo!